Dream Stories Awards 2016 | ON HOLD

2| The Tuesday Call

Title: The Tuesday Call

Author: @Redha28

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Summary: On one Tuesday night, the five girls received a strange call from a sketchy person who brings them a message that the school counselor will hang himself. The next day, the school counselor was found hanging.

From that day forward, the five girls receive calls from the same person and deaths followed after the calls. Curious and shaken, they decide to keep the victims alive and along the way track down the stranger who has been calling them with vague clues that can lead to him.

However, they do not know he has eyes everywhere and he is always one step ahead of them.

Sexual Content: None.

Review By: klutzymuskie

The cover is okay. I understand its a mystery book but the cover can be better. Talking about the current cover, it does relate to mystery, but does not make a reader want to read the book. Also, I would recommend you to write your name instead of username as the username doesn't look professional. 

I noticed your summary and synopsis are same. As far as I know, they aren't same. But if your story isn't really planned then its fine. But yeah, it doesn't really make much difference that synopsis and summary are same. Lol, am I confusing you? Sorry, if I am. Anyways, your synopsis/summary does sound interesting. It creates curiosity in readers, which is very good point. 

Italics. That's something you use a lot. Which isn't really good. Too much italics is bad. It irritates readers' eyes unless its a flashback or something. I noticed you use italics mainly for the dialogues. It can be written, actually it has to be written in quotation marks, and as long as you do that, its understood that its a dialogue. 

I don't know what would this exactly come under but anyways, you can structure your sentences in better way and punctuation aren't really used that well. for example you wrote,

"What the Hell" . Your smokey eyes aren't blended well and look (Cyrina comes closer) and look your hair , they are messy". Said Cyrina .

You could write,

"What the hell? Your smokey eyes aren't blended well," Cyrina tells me whilst coming closer, "and look at your hair, they are so messy"

Your grammar is okay, it could be improved. Also I recommend you to use better vocabulary as that really attracts the reader. Also, avoid using 'said' every time. That kind of bores the reader. you can use exclaimed, chirped, told, etc. Your story might be great but if your language isn't then the reader loses the interest.

There isn't really any background info about characters. At least not in the first three chapters. If that is there in the next chapters then great, otherwise you have to work on that. Because that makes the audience connect to the characters and imagine them better or even keep themselves in their shoes. Moreover, you haven't even described the characters' characteristics. Characters' characteristics.. kinda rhymes, doesn't it? Nope? Kay, my bad! Okay, back to the topic. So you need to describe the characters' features. But keep in mind, show not tell.

There are author's notes. Very good. Proud of you. XD. 

Time for rating *scared*,

Cover: 6/10

Grammar: 7/10

Spelling: 10/10

Narrative: 7/10

Italics:  3/10

Character(s) Descriptions: 5/10

Background(s) Descriptions: 3/10

Summaries: 8/10

Author's Notes:  9/10

Overall: 6/10

Love<3<3,

Muskan *Sweet Smile*