***TRIGGER WARNING*** This Imagine DOES include self harm. Read at your own risk!
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Dating an Idol isn't easy, and it's not just having no time to spend with eachother, it's the fans reactions. You never know if you'll get more hate or more love. I personally don't get much hate, but when I do get messages from haters, I can't ignore them. I was always bullied in school because I wasn't as pretty as the girls who caked their faces with makeup, and what did this all lead up to?? Depression and self harm. My depressions gotten much better ever since I started dating Hoshi, the cute ball of sunshine he is. He knows about my depression, but not the cutting. I'll tell him about that eventually... Hopefully when I stop. Though it may take awhile to stop, because I'm resisting the urge to do it right now... So far it's only gotten wor--
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I stopped writing in the new diary my mom got me, hearing my phone ding. I hesitated, but eventually reached over to look, just incase it was important. I regret turning on my phone the second I saw the notifacation for Twitter. Even though I knew I shouldn't look at it, I opened the app to see what this person had to say.
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SeventeenFan271
Look at that trash people call Y/N... I bet she dyed her hair to make her seem high class like Hoshi. It just made her appearance worse, if that's even possible. What does he see in her?? She's ugly and her personality is like that cliché clingy girlfriend that won't let the guy out of her sight.. Love must make people go blind, am I right?? @*your Twitter username*
[ comments 1,749 ]
Kpop729
Yea I agree. Hoshi should break up with her before she uses all his money!
NaegaHosh4~
I heard that she doesn't even have a job! She's totally using Hoshi Oppa for money and fame! I hope he sees that soon..
[ reply's 274 ]
PleeeeedisLyfe
@SeventeensHoshi Take advice from us and break up with her Oppa!!
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Tears already threatened to roll down my cheeks just reading the post. I looked in the comments, and all I saw was hate. I couldn't take it anymore.. I've been clean for a couple weeks, I've held in all my tears, and I have to let it out. I walked into the bathroom and dug out the razor I've been hiding. My mind went blank, and I completely forgot that Hoshi would be home any minute, so I started sliding the blade against my forearm. It stung at first, since I hadn't done it in awhile, but I as I kept going I felt relieved. Around 7 in, I heard the front door open and close, and Hoshi yell "I'm home!"
I stood frozen, not knowing what to do. I threw the razor in the sink and when I turned around to close the door, I faced the last person I wanted to see in this situation. Tears were already in his eyes, and I looked down, not wanting to look at him.
"Y/N... W-what is t-this..?" He croaked, lifting my cut arm gently. I didn't answer, feeling guilty that I didn't tell him before. He sat me down on a stool and cleaned up my wounds in silence. He then brought me to the bed and knelt infront of me, wanting eye contact.
"Did I make you do.. This..?" He asked, pointing to my arm. I shook my head and quietly answered, "Y-you would never be the cause of t-this..." I reached over to get my phone. I turned it on and showed him the post that still hasn't been taken down. I watched his features change as he read the post and probably some of the comments too.
"This has been happening for awhile, and I was clean for a couple weeks, but that and the comments finally broke me.." I said quietly. He looked up at me for a few seconds before hugging me, which I gladly accepted. We sat like this for a bit before he pulled away. "Y/N, you are perfect. I know others might not think that but who cares?? All that matters is that you know that you're perfect, and I will do everything and anything to make you see yourself how I see you." He said. I smiled and pulled him in for another hug. "Thank you" I said happily.
"I love you~" He replied, which made my face burn up.
