Unconditionally In Love

Disappointment

I ran behind him to the parking lot. He finally came to a stop in the middle. He just stood there crying. Covering his face with his hands, tears falling on the floor.

"Natsu-"

"How could you!

"Natsu I'm so sorry. I-"

"No! Don't! How could you do this to me! After everything we've been through! Did that night mean nothing to you?!"he said looking into my eyes.

"No! It meant something! I swear! I just-"

"Lucy, just don't! I can't believe you did this! I had a bad feeling about that jerk and you told me it was nothing! Well this certainly isn't nothing! Tell me, is that right?! Is it nothing?!"

"..."

"That's what I thought."

"I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment and everything happened so fast!"

"There aren't enough apologies in the world! God dammit, Lucy!" he pulled his hair back.

"But mine are true-"

"Are they?! Because now I don't even know if what you felt for me was real!"

"It was! I swear Natsu! I love yo-"

"Lucy, just don't!"

"Please, just trust me!"

"That's the thing. I don't. I won't."

"Please, Natsu!" I got on my knees and cried into my legs on his feet.

"I beg you, Natsu!"

All he did was back away with tears and walk back to the party. And he left me there. On my knees. Begging for his forgivness. The one he wasn't going to give and the one that I didn't deserve.

I got up, and went back inside.

*SMACK*

Sting just brushed his cheek and stared at me with his mouth wide open.

"You jerk."

"Hey, it's not my fault you still have feelings for me."

*SMACK*

"Shut up."

"Hey Sting!" yelled Natsu coming towards us.

As soon as he got to where Sting was, he grabbed him by the collar and punched him in the face.

"Ohhh my god!" I screamed. Everyone immediately turned to look at the fight.

"Natsu! Stop!"

He was beating Sting to a pulp and I couldn't do anything. They both took turns punching each other. Then Grey got there and pulled them apart. I went to Natsu and asked if he was okay. I held his arm and looked up at his bleedy face. With his other hand, he cleaned the blood coming out of his mouth then pulled his arm away from me and turned around and left. The worst was, that when he was turning, he looked me in the eyes. His look was full with disappointment. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Then everything started going in slow motion. I turned to look at Sting and he was still on the floor. Natsu had beaten him so much, he couldn't get up. I covered my mouth with my hands and thought...

What have I done?

I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed. I cried and cried and cried. Finally, Levy came in the room and lay down next to me.

"I'm not gonna say anything. But what you did was messed up."

"What happened with 'I'm not going to say anything'?"

"Look, Lucy, I know you didn't do it on purpose, but you still went along with it."

"I know, and I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't even know what was happening until he kissed me."

"Why wont you just say the truth. It's pretty obvious and if you keep lying, you wont even believe yourself anymore."

"The truth is, I let him. God this is embarrassing."

"No. What's embarrassing is that you fail to notice the message here."

"Well, what is the message?"

"The message, is that people make mistakes, and we have to make up for them. This mistake is a little bigger then others, but eventually, he will forgive you. But you have to take the first step. Say sorry."

"I already did."

"But this time, mean it."

Levy got up and walked out the room, leaving me to think about what she had said. She was right. I waited for Natsu to come to the room, but he never went so I guessed he stayed in the living room. After the party, was when he went. I guess he thought I was asleep because I was in bed already. He changed and got in bed next to me. I was pretty surprised he was even  gonna sleep with me. I could feel his stare. He kept looking at me. His warm body radiating to mine. Then, I felt his arm on me. He was hugging me. He wrapped his arms around me and he fell asleep. I was a horrible person. I didn't deserve to be loved by him, and he didn't deserve the pain. After all the things he had done for me, I still managed to hurt him.

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The next morning, I woke up alone. Natsu wasn't next to me. I understood why he wouldn't have wanted me to know he slept with me. I still had to apologize, but first I had to find him. It was pretty early and no one else was up. I checked the clock and it was eight. I wondered 'how could I be awake so early'. I went to the living room, but he wasn't there either. Then, I went outside to the campfire, and that's where I found him. Sitting down on a log just looking at the burning fire and the calm ocean. It was pretty chilly that morning. He rubbed his arms and let out air, creating little clouds. I was scared at first, to walk over and for him to just get up and leave, but then I thought about what Levy had said, and how I hurt him and how he didn't deserve that. So I walked over and set on another log. I kept my distance since he was probably still mad at me and didn't want me close. He didn't even look at me as I sat down. He just kept staring at the fire.

"Hey" I said, my eyes watering. My voice starting to crack. He didn't say anything. Just kept silent.

"How are you feeling?"

Nothing.

"Natsu, I am sorry, and there just aren't enough apologies in the world to describe how sorry I am. I know you're mad at me and I know I made a mistake. I have made many mistakes but none have I regreted more than this one. I am probably your least favorite person in the world right now, and I understand that. I just want you to know, that Sting was just a friend. He didn't mean anything else. I mean, yeah, I loved him, but like a brother. He was nothing other than that. And what he did...we did yesterday was wrong. I admit that I went along with it and that was also wrong on my part. I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know." I got up and started walking to the back door, when he finally spoke up.

"You aren't my least favorite person. Just disappointing."

That made me a little happy and sad at the same time.

"It hurt. A lot. To know that your girlfriend kissed with and ex-boyfriend, and that she liked it. I know, you didn't mean any harm, but you did cause it. And it hurt. Like being stabbed in the gut. Over and over and over again. It was that painful. And you know why?" He turned around to look at me. "Because I love you. I gave you everything I could, even myself, and you still did it. I know he started, but you kept going. And that hurt."

I looked down. He was right. I went along. I went back inside and into my room. I lay on the bed again and slept for while. A long while.