Paul gives a 30 minute speech about how proud he is of One Direction and how great it is that their doing another tour and the importance of safety on tour and how no tour can function without any crew member and I space out about half way through. I’m ridiculously distracted right now.
Why didn’t I tell Harry? It bothers me so much.
I could have said anything.
I could have told him that I’m confused. I could have told him that I don’t know how I feel. I could have told him that I’m scared and not ready and that I need time to think but instead I just wimped out and said I had nothing to say.
Speaking of Harry, he’s still standing right next to me.
And I mean right next to me.
His hand is so close to mine. If I move my hand at all right now, it’ll brush up against his.
He has really big hands too. Big hands, with really long fingers. I mean seriously, my hand is probably about half the size of his hands and I’ve always thought that I have fairly regular sized hands.
Wait.
What am I talking about?
I’m honestly thinking about his hands now?
After I told him that I had nothing to say, we fell into a short awkward silence, interrupted by Paul’s opening tour speech. I thought maybe Harry would go stand with his friends, or other band members or go anywhere else but of course, I was wrong.
I stare straight ahead, avoiding eye contact. I desperately want to turn and see what he’s doing but I force myself to ignore him which is incredibly difficult. People don’t just ignore Harry Styles.
“And let’s have a great tour!” Paul yells loudly. The crowd of crew members around me cheer, which whips me out of my daze and brings me back to reality. I applaud half-heartedly alongside everyone else. I’m just ready to get on the bus so I can think a little bit.
Should I just walk away now or do I need to say some sort of awkward “see you later”? I think I need to say something, I mean I already feel bad enough about saying that I have nothing to tell him about how I feel about him.
I have to say something.
Okay Evan, think. Think of something really good. Something thoughtful, but not too intense. Preferably something quick but not to brief where it comes off as rude. How hard can it be to make a quick and friendly exit?
Answer: apparently more difficult than I originally thought because before I can stop myself I stammer, “Did you know that stressed is desserts spelled backwards?”
What the hellI just say?
It’s too late now, it’s already out there.
Typical.
Man, I’m horrible under pressure.
Harry raises an eyebrow and tilts his head in confusion, “What…?” He thinks about it for another second as if he’s considering what I’ve just said and trying to make sense of it. He chuckles still a little bewildered, “Wait what?” He repeats.
“I don’t know why I just said that,” I say honestly, a little bit mortified. I can’t look at him. I feel my cheeks heat up.
Harry smirks, “You are probably just dumbfounded by my awesome presence?” He says with a shrug, crossing his arms across his chest. His biceps flex.
“Wow,” I manage to choke out, tearing my eyes away from his arms. I try to act unimpressed, “Good one. So humble,” I tell him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
