Soluna (Camren)

Chapter Nine

"What's this?" Lauren asked as she opened a manila folder labeled 'Poetry' in cursive. She was sitting on the desk in Camila's home office as Camila typed away on her laptop, more than halfway done with her latest novel.

Camila hummed, not looking away from her laptop screen. "What's what?"

Lauren took out a sheet of paper that was written in Camila's writing

you have sadness

living in places

sadness shouldn't live

Camila's eyes widened and snatched the sheet away. "This is private." She said.

"It's labeled 'for Lauren' at the top." Lauren retorted before standing up and looking over other sheets as Camila groaned and tried to grab the sheets from Lauren.

"Can you not be nosy? That's mine." Camila told her as she tried to rip the folder away from Lauren who wasn't budging and kept reading.

you were so distant

i forgot you were there at all

Lauren looked up at Camila as Camila chewed on her lip, deciding there was no stopping Lauren from reading all of the poetry she had kept for her eyes only.

Lauren's eyes looked back down and shifted papers and read another one.

you said. if it's meant to be. fate will bring us back together. for a second i wonder if you really are that naïve. if you really believe fate works like that. as if it has five fingers and spends its time placing us like pieces of chess. as if it is not the choices we make. who taught you that. tell me. who convinced you. you've been given a heart and a mind that isn't yours to use. that your actions do not define what will become of you. i want to scream and shout it's us fool. we're the only ones that can bring us back together. but instead i sit quietly. smiling softly through quivering lips thinking. isn't it such a tragic thing. when you can see it so clearly but the other person doesn't.

Lauren looked up at Camila, no longer smiling at Camila. "You really fucking hate me, don't you?" she asked. "I mean, I don't blame you. I didn't expect complete forgiveness from you. But wow, this stings." She chuckled dryly.

Camila sighed. "It's just...me letting feelings out. Like taking out the trash, but the trash are feelings from long ago." She said to Lauren. But the girl shook her head as she looked back down at the sheets. "Lauren, stop." She told her as she tried to grab the sheets but Lauren quickly stopped her.

you were the most beautiful thing i'd ever felt till now. and i was convinced you'd remain the most beautiful thing i'd ever feel. do you know how limiting that is. to think at such a ripe young age i'd experienced the most exhilarating person i'd ever meet. how i'd spend the rest of my life just settling.to think i'd tasted the rawest form of honey and everything else would be refined and synthetic. that nothing beyond this point would add up. that all the years beyond me could not combine themselves to be sweeter than you.

Lauren pursed her lips as she finished reading and then handed the folder back to Camila. "I read your poems when you came out with them. I can see now that these are the ones that you purposefully never published. And with good reason. It fucking stings. I made you feel this way..." Lauren ran a hand through her hair. "I'm so—"

"Human." Camila finished. "We all hurt each other at one point, Lauren. That doesn't mean you love me any less because you left a few stings on my heart. Stings heal."

Lauren shook her head as she sat down and put her hands on her face. "No, Camila...don't give me that bullshit. I hurt you. I damaged you. I didn't fucking sting you, I burned you. And I left you with scars. More damage than a stupid little sting."