Soluna (Camren)

Chapter Sixteen

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide attempt.

Lauren's eyes were turning to a gray color.

Camila had been staring at Lauren's eyes long enough to recognize those emerald pools were fading to a sad gray. It had been a month and a half since Rosie the elephant passed away due to sickness, for the life of an animal wasn't meant for the circus, either. As properly as Lauren tried to care for the animals, they weren't meant for the life of a circus.

The circus wasn't meant for them either, Camila supposed.

Lauren decided she needed a break from the circus after the trauma of losing her beloved Rosie and left Normani in charge. It was temporary, of course. Eventually, Lauren would have to go back.

Lauren might as well have been gone. Any other time, Camila would be absolutely elated to have Lauren with her for more than a few days, or weeks, but Lauren wasn't herself at all. Lauren was fading. Slowly, but surely, she was fading. Camila could see it in her eyes.

Sam had advised her to just give Lauren time and space.

Eliza and Alycia said the same.

Gabe said to give Lauren a billion hugs and pancakes.

Camila tried that the most, but it wasn't enough.

Camila watched Lauren from the kitchen window as Lauren sat on the back porch stairs, lost in her own thoughts.

Camila sighed as she took a sip of her green tea and looked up at her kitchen ceiling. "How do I help her?" she asked aloud.

Camila had given Lauren time, space, hugs, and pancakes. What more could she give? After spending so long trying to recuperate Lauren, she couldn't lose her again.

Suddenly, her mother's words from 10 years ago entered her head:

"Fight for your feelings, they're real and they're yours. Fight for what's yours."

Camila took a deep breath as she put her mug of tea down and walked outside and sat next to Lauren who stared into space.

"Hey." Camila greeted with a soft smile.

Lauren turned to Camila and smiled back. "Hi."

"How are you?"

"Great now that you're here." Lauren smiled as she kissed Camila's lips gently.

"It's been six weeks since Rosie passed."

Lauren's jaw clenched and cleared her throat. "It is."

"How do you feel?"

"It was just an animal." Lauren shrugged off. "Circle of life and all of that."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Camila shook her head. "Lauren, baby, you can't keep picking and choosing what you share with me and what you keep to yourself. Not when you make it so obvious that something is wrong. I'm worried about you." she placed her hand on Lauren's arm. "You can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about, okay? It was just an elephant." Lauren stood up. "And you should be happy, this is the longest I've been here. You get to see me more."

Camila looked up. "You may be here, but you're like a ghost. I feel your presence, but I can't see you. You're hiding from me."

Lauren chuckled and crossed her arms. "You're being ridiculous..."