Leap of Faith

Chapter Seven

Rebecca

I worked at the library that day, shelving books absently while Mrs. Anderson typed away on her keyboard. I squeezed the Last Song into its place on the shelf and then got down off the stool. I shuffled around, rounding the isles and running my knuckles along the spines of the books. There was something so very comforting about a book. About its smell, its binding, the possibilities it promised.

"Rebecca?"

"Yeah Mrs. A?"

"There's someone here to see you," she said happily and I poked my head around the side of the bookshelf to see Mason standing by the front desk.

Oh joy. My heart thumped for multiple reasons, one of them being that I simply didn't have anything to say to Mason. He clearly had no interest in being my friend, so my interest in being his had been vanquished the moment he turned his back to me and walked down the corridor.

"Can I help you?" I asked, keeping my distance and looking him straight in the eye. Not too close now, observe, no sudden movements, slow your breathing and -

"Umm," he scratched the back of his neck and I could see Mrs. Anderson smirking at me. "Yeah, can we talk somewhere?"

"I'm kind of working right now," I said, gesturing to the cart of books that needed shelving.

"Oh! Don't be silly Becca, go with the boy. It's not everyday that handsome boys come asking for you!" she chirped and I held back a groan.

Well. It doesn't get worse than that.

Sighing, I nodded and lead him to the courtyard just outside the library.

"How did you find me here?" I asked, sitting on a bench.

"I had a feeling you'd be here."

"So what did you need?" I asked keeping my voice detached.

He took a deep breath and looked half scared to death.

Mason

I couldn't believe I was doing this. After I left Rebecca in the hall I wandered the hallways until my head stopped hurting.

Never had I felt such an urge to get to know someone, had such a desire to be liked.

So I decided I would make my first friend in six years. It was terrifying, truthfully, because what if she didn't want to be my friend? I had gotten so accustomed to being a loner that I didn't even know if my personality was appealing to others anymore. I hadn't socialized in so long that opening up to another person scared the hell out of me.

And that's what lead up to now. I knew she'd be in the library because that's where I'd be if I were upset, and for whatever reason I felt like Becca and I had a lot in common.

"I'm sorry," I said, not meeting her eyes. "But there's a reason why I can't make friends here, Rebecca." She gave me a questioning look and that was all it took for me to unload my shitty life onto her shoulders.

The best part though? She didn't judge me or tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. She just heard me out and then told me the truth.

"I get it," she said quietly, "trying to save yourself the pain of leaving someone you care about behind. But isn't that kind of... dumb?"

I frowned at her.

"I mean, aren't you still causing yourself pain, just in a different way? Being lonely all the time has to be pretty painful, right?"

I didn't think I'd heard her right. I'd become accustomed to people telling me what I wanted to hear and giving me answers that barely scratched the surface.

Hearing Becca's answer was... refreshing. It was like an ice bath, the freezing water surrounding me until I was submerged, making it impossible to resurface again. I was shocked by her honestly, yet astounded by the amount of depth her answer contained. Her perspective on the world seemed much brighter than mine, although I didn't have much to base it off of.

"In reality," she continued, "you're causing yourself more pain than necessary. Yes, making friends would only prolong the pain, but sometimes that's the best option you have."

"Wow." I stared at her. At her brown locks and the cowlick curling around her ear. "I've never really thought of it like that." She shrugged like it was nothing.

"Reading really expands your horizons."

Rebecca

I couldn't explain the pull that I felt toward Mason. It was inexplicable. After telling me his story, the response I gave him was the only one I had. Sometimes people say I think too much like an old person, but doesn't that just mean I'm wise?

"You don't have to agree with me," I said quietly when Mason remained quiet.

He shook his head and met my eyes for the first time.

"I want to be your friend Becca." He looked pained, as if it took all of his strength to say those seven words.

I don't know why this was so startling to me. I have plenty of friends, what's one more? I think it's the way he asked me. He sounded so empty. Like a brazen wound, open and barred for the world to see.

"Okay." I knew it wasn't much, but that was the best I could give him. And maybe, just maybe, it was enough.