Leap of Faith

Chapter Seventeen

Mason

I couldn't believe this.

Actually, I could. I shouldn't be so upset with my parents though. I was the one to think I wouldn't fall for Becca, to think I could cheat loves grasp. I knew it would happen, and I let it happen anyways. Love would catch us all - it left no soul untouched, no human protected. I had, foolishly, thought I was strong enough, and smart enough, to evade it, but I was just like everyone else. Blind to the ways love worked - to the ways it conquered and diminished us all eventually.

I was parked outside her house, wanting to go inside, but not knowing what to say. I guess it didn't matter, since she was walking towards me.

"Hey," she said gently, and I could see that she'd been crying. I had too, it was hard not to when you realized that you weren't as lucky as you thought you were. She climbed into the car.

"Hi angel," I whispered, crushing my mouth to hers. Probably not the smartest move. Our mouths moved in sync, both wanting the same thing - to forget.

I pulled myself away, the absence of her on my mouth was alarming and painful, almost.

"What are we going to do?" I panted, and she squeezed her eyes tight.

"We're going to make this work," she stated, staring at me.

Rebecca

It was a long shot, I knew, but I needed to try.

"You want to do the long distance thing? While we're living in separate sides of the U.S?" he said in disbelief.

"The least we can do is try."

"We can snapchat, and video chat, and text and call, and I have family up in New Hampshire, so maybe we can visi-" He pressed his mouth to mine, effectively shutting me up.

We made love in the back seat of his car, our hands and mouths trying to memorize every inch of each others bodies. Wanting to love each other for all the time we wouldn't have in the future.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear, as we lay, tangled together on the backseat. He kissed my neck once.

"I love you, too. We can make this work, I promise." I wrapped my arms around his waist, his fingers buried in my hair.

Maybe we were making things worse, going farther into this than we already were, but what choice did we have? The hurt was already there, it couldn't be erased so easily.

Mason

When I went home that evening, Mom had already packed up everything from the living room, and seemed happy but drained.

I knew what I needed to do.

"Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, Mason." I sat at the counter, and looked over at her.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" I asked, and she frowned at me.

"Do what?"

"This. Why won't you just give up on Dad?"

"Because I love him Mason. And I know somewhere deep down he loves me too."

"Mom, please don't take this the wrong way, but Dad doesn't love you. Not anymore." She stared at me, like a lost puppy, a child who had just been told that Santa didn't exist.

"Mason, you don't understan-"

"I understand just fine!" I said, my voice getting louder. "I know that it hurts Mom, that you've been waiting years for him to come back to you, but do you not see what you've been putting us through, putting me through, in the process?"

Her face went blank, her knuckles white, clutching the kitchen towel.

"I fell in love, Mom." I said, hoarsley. "I know it hurts to let him go, but you have to. You have to move on." Her face fell.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, pulling me into her arms, and sobbing into my shoulder. "Mason, I'm so sorry. I've been selfish. I never realized-"

"I know."

And that was all I needed to say.

Rebecca

I sat silently in my room, back pressed to the floor until I heart the front door click open and then closed. I heard Moms heels clicking as she walked up the steps, and then my door creaked open.

"Becca? What's the matter?" she crept towards me, as if she were worried I would vanish before her. And maybe I had been doing just that - vanishing. Losing myself, piece by piece, simply because I expected her to be happy alone when I wasn't.

Who do you think you are? Collecting your jar of hearts.

Love built us up to tear us back down, and I wasn't experienced enough to understand how to deal with it. I looked up at my mother, who, through everything, still loved me. This was unconditional love, I guess. And the evil that was love only let a little bit of that slide through.

And who do you think you are? Running 'round, leaving scars.

How was it fair that love did these things without our consent? Or did we give it the consent when we fell for someone? When we gave them our hearts completely, not withholding anything, no secrets, no barriers, no defenses. When we let everything fall, did we give love permission to take our hearts and do with it what it will?

Collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart.

Was that the price of loving someone? When you gave someone your heart, were you laying everything on the line? Were you throwing your weapons away, tearing down your walls and letting them in?

Why?