Leap of Faith

Chapter Fifteen

Mason

"Dude, there is something seriously wrong with Finn," Matt muttered to Bex and I as we walked into Noodles and Co. the next Friday night. Bex tucked herself closer into my side, and looked up at Matt.

"What do you mean? He seems fine," she said, and we all watched as Finn chewed his lip, scratching the back of his neck as Shannon told him a story. I had a feeling I knew what was going on.

"I know Finn, okay? We're twins. And I've never seen him this way." Rebecca stared at him and then frowned.

"What way?"

"In love."

Rebecca

"In love? What? With who!?"

"Shannon," Mason said, gently, holding my chin in his fingers and tilting my head back to the two of them. Realization dawned in my head. He kissed my forehead.

"Does she like him back?" Matt asked quietly, and I knew what that scared voice was for. This could ruin the make up of our whole friendship, this could tear our world apart. But I could see it, the way Finn was gazing at Shannon, his eyes bright, as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

I wondered how long this had been going on without my noticing.

We sat in a booth, with Finn and Shannon on one side, and the three of us on the other.

"Oh come on," Mason complained, "I'm going to be the cock-blocking third wheel all night!" He got up and shoved Finn and Shannon to the wall, squeezing in beside them. Mason kissed my ear.

"Can we just discuss how Mr.Mallory explained electron configurations to us?" Finn laughed.

"How?" Mason asked, and I knew this would be bad.

"He said, and I quote, 'The electrons that are excited go up, and you know that because when things are excited they go up, right kids?'"

"That man is a fiend." I snorted out a laugh, and suddenly everyone was laughing, at me and at each other. A waitress placed our food on the table, and we ate happily, the silence settling around us.

"Hey, so, we don't really know much about you, Mason," Matt said, and I knew Mason was flinching inwardly. I gripped his hand, and he squeezed mine back.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"How many girlfriends have you had before Becca?" Mason choked on his Coke, and I glared at Matt, still not surprised he had asked. Matt had always been insanely protective of me. He wasn't one to try and control my life like Seth did sometimes, but he would blame himself if I got hurt, and I knew it.

"Umm, zero, actually."

Okay, this I didn't know. Mason was attractive - I was sure he'd had at least one, right?

"With a body like that? What the hell is wrong with the girls in New Jersey?" I knew it wasn't the girls who didn't want Mason, but vice-versa.

"Nothing, Shannon, just leave it. Do you want a pot-sticker?" I asked, shoving the plate to Mason, who took one and stuffed it into his mouth whole. "Woah there, it's not going to disappear on you, I promise," I laughed, and he gave me an intense look.

"Yeah. But I need to eat it fast, because the time I have is limited."

Okay. So we weren't talking about pot-stickers anymore, obviously.

"Even if it disappeared, you would still have it."

"It wont disappear, but I will."

"Yeah? Well, it wont matter either way. Some things are hard to find Mason, and when you find them, you should hold on to them."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Shannon asked, and Mason and I snapped to attention, our eyes leaving each other.

"Nothing," we both blurted, and Shannon rolled her eyes.

"I will never understand relationships," she sighed, picking at her food.

"Not until you have one," Finn said gently, and Matt met my eyes, looking wary. I sent him a quick text.

Me: Relax. Please. It'll be fine. Finn is a big boy. And if he loves her, he'll know how to let her go if he needs to.

Matt: Do you love Mason?

Me: I'm working on it.

Matt: Are you scared? I know that kind of commitment can be scary for you.

Me: This isn't about me.

Mason

I drove her home later, and walked her to her doorstep. She looked at me expectantly, and I knew I needed some self control. I knew if I touched her at all tonight I wouldn't be able to stop.

I leaned in to kiss her, my hands dangling, fisted, at my sides as my lips touched hers. It was a slow kiss. Gentle, lingering, sensual in a way that could lead sex if I pushed it to. I didn't want it to lead to that, not tonight. But Bex did.

"I want you," she said into my mouth, her hands clutching my waist, dragging me towards her. Her fingers roamed my stomach, and that was my undoing. I gripped her close by her hips, backing her against her front door and gently thrusting against her. She moaned. Or maybe it was me.

"Bex, no, no, no, not tonight, we can't, we can't, we can- ahhhh, God." She cupped me through my jeans, and all common sense flew out my head.

"Please," she whispered, throatily, as I hiked her up, her legs around my waist. "I want you," she said again, kissing my neck, her fingers scratching down my back, following the dip of my spine.

"Is anyone home?" I asked, angry at myself, yet not willing to stop. She shook her head and managed to get the door open with shaking hands. The keys clattered to the ground, the sound echoing around the empty house as I kicked the door shut and backed her into her room.

Her fingers made work of my shirt, chucking it to the ground along with hers. I stepped out of my shoes, and we both jumped around, trying to get naked as fast as possible. In the movies, they make it seem so effortless, and smooth, this preparation to be together. People in movies don't have to worry about having condoms, or getting their socks off, or bumping noses when you finally come together.

But here's the truth, and I know it will always be so. What happens in the movies will never be half as amazing as here and now with Bex.

Rebecca

He lay me down on my bed, and kissed me hard, conveying all his emotions through that one kiss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, wanting him close. Wanting us to be one in the most intimate way.

"Please tell me if you want me to stop," he whispered hoarsely, and I knew this was his last strangled attempt to save me from him. From myself.

I grabbed a condom, and with shaky fingers, I rolled it onto him. He groaned.

Mason

I wanted to tell her I loved her, because I knew I did. I knew it more clearly than I knew my own name. But I didn't want her to think that sex was the compensation for my love, because it wasn't. I wanted her to know I loved her at some time when we weren't both insanely horny, and about to have sex. Sometime that felt more real. More sincere.

Not that I wasn't sincere now. I was. I loved this girl more than I had ever loved anyone, and she... she had become an enormous part of my world. She was my better half.

And I wanted to show her. I wanted to love her the way she needed to be loved.

So I did.