Perfectly broken [f.m + r.m]

Confrontation

Have you ever felt so mad that you could feel it in your stomach? So angry, so capable of anything? Waiting for the right moment to get revenge? To make the person that harm you regret everything?that is exactly what I feel now.

But you know what causes it? What comes afterwards? All that anger , all that thirstiness for revenge becomes sadness, humilliation. Now you feel empty inside, you keep repeating in your head what did this happen to me? I know that maybe it isn't the worst thing in the world but I also now that many people I know do worse but still I get it. Why me?

All that anger you felt you actually take it out on somebody, maybe at that moment it felt right but after it, all you want is forgiveness from that person, you start realizing that it isn't who caused it. Then you realize it may be something bigger than you and you can't control that.

Now all you wanna do is runaway from your problems, you don't want to confront them because you know you won't be able to beat them because you are not ready yet, because you don't have what it takes. But yet why don't we runaway? Why do we make everyone think were fine, when all our world is falling into pieces? Because they can't see us humiliated. Because they wouldn't understand. That is why at some point we actually go to confrontation. No matter how small or weak we feel. Just to prove a point.

But what happens at confrontation? Well we are about to learn.

I turned off my cellphone alarm, I had asked Maya to not come to pick me up today, I had to confront her but I was hoping I could wait a little longer.

I don't shower in the mornings it takes me a lot of time and I arrive late at school, so I do my normal make up and hair routine and go to my closet. I decide for a jean romper with a gray and black small stripped crop top and some white converse.

I go to breakfast and barely talk to my family I just try to answer their questions correctly like: Am I fine? Why Maya isn't here? Did I want dad to take me to school? "Wait no! Dad is my teacher, I can't arrive with my teacher! I would love to take the subway but Maya will be there like any normal Monday, so I will take my car" I said finishing my bowl of cereal and leaving my dish in the plate washer.

I look at the kitchen's clock"Actually I have to go if I don't wanna be late!" I said taking my jacket from my seat. I hugged my mom and Auggie and went to the parking lot.

I drove to school, even thought what I actually want was to drive to anywhere else just to avoid what I expected. I parked my car, got the keys out, took my school bag. Pretty unready may I say. Here goes nothing! As soon as I step out of my car I realize that just next to it there is Farkle.

"Hey" I said to my new friend, then I realized what he was driving the last model Audi TT. That by coincidence was my dream car, he wasn't joking on the been rich part."Nice car"

"Thanks" he said as he got out of his car." So how you doing?"

"I'm not fine but I will ultimately have to deal with it, so now I can ended it quick even though I feel so unready" I said honestly, he was the only person I actually tell how I truly feel.

"You'll be fine" he reassures with a smile.

"We'll see" I said and with a that we went into school, I went to my locker and got my things out for my first period social studys. Thankfully no Maya, Lucas, Zay or Missy.

I wasn't paying attention to the class with all that stuff in my head so I barely noticed the ring bell announcing the end of this class, great! Next class: History, which means Maya, Lucas, Zay and Missy well and thankfully Farkle.