A Walk Through Hell (Boyxboy)

Chapter 8- The Doctor Knows Something I Don't

In my room back at the house, I cried. For hours. Because of my stupidity. Why was I so fucking sensitive? He didn’t think of him that way, but did he even think of me that way? I shouldn’t be thinking like this. So soon. We just got back from an amazing trip and I should be sharing with Max and Lizzie, because I knew they were dying to hear about it, but I couldn’t get myself out of bed. I couldn’t force myself to think positively. The court date and my jealousy mixed together. To make my life seem like a living hell. I didn’t even care anymore. I wanted to forget about my mom. And that man that posed as my father for all those year’s because my mom was too damn chicken to even tell him. He would have left way before I was born and we could have been normal. With Max, and Lizzie would have been my little sister. And we could have been a big happy family. But no. I got this broken shitty family I didn’t even want.

Sitting up, I looked around my room. I had two options. One, I could ignore my feelings and take  a shower and try to be normal, or two, I could be self-destructive and hate myself while taking a shower, Either way I wasn’t feeling it. I was too tired to even get to my closet, and I was too tired to take a shower. So I laid back down, opening my laptop and turned on some music.

There was a knock at my door before it opened. Max stood with a bowl of food in his hand. “You need to eat.” I shook my head and buried my face into my pillow.

“Why are you so upset?” He asked me. I just shook my head, I couldn’t tell anyone because the reason was so stupid I wanted to punch myself in the face for being so overly sensitive. “I’m guessing it’s because of something that happened between you and Shane,” Why was he even talking to me? I didn’t want company, I wanted my razor. “Please go away,” I said into my pillow. My voice was muffled but I could still hear the break in my voice.  “Zander, whatever it is, it can be solved with communication. I’d rather deal with your relationship problems than a hospital bill.” I sat up and looked at him. “You think I’d resort to hurting myself?” I asked him. He sighed, He didn’t want to say yes, but I knew he thought I would. “I know you would, Zander. The bridge incident…” I turned back around and laid back down.

“A mentally stable person would have never jumped off of that bridge. I’m concerned for you because everything is a huge disappointment to you. If you talked about things, I think you’d be much happier and able to make healthy decisions.” The only thing I wanted was to be alone. Nothing else. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not Max.

“Why would I talk to you about my problem?” His sigh was so loud, I thought he’d finally give up and leave me alone. “Not me. Zander. I’m getting you a therapist.” I sat up and groaned. “No, I don’t want to talk to a stranger either. I want to fucking be left alone because I feel like shit and all I want to do is cry, okay? I’ll be fucking fine.” Max looked a little taken aback, but he straightened up. “You need to talk to someone, and if it’s not me, you need to talk to a therapist. That’s it. You’re still a child for a couple months, and as long are you’re acting helpless, I’ll treat you as if you are.” He shut my door and I let out an exasperated groan.

I always fuck shit up. That’s just my luck.

***

"You look like death." Lizzie muttered as I shuffled into the kitchen. I glared at her. "Bite me." I grumbled, stopping at the sink for a glass of water. I turned and leaned against the counter, just as Max walked in. "Good news," He said happily, throwing a white paper bag to me. I caught it against my chest. "Medicine, take it. And get dressed, you have an appointment." I took the bottle out and read the label. "I'm not taking antidepressants."

"Yes you are. Even if I have to shove them down your throat. I know you're not used to being told what to do by your parent, but get used to it. I'll need you dressed in an hour. And don't wear those baggy clothes, wear something that actually fits." I stuck my tongue out at his retreating back as he left the kitchen. Lizzie whistled. "You're getting the full daddy mode today. Wait until you're in public with him. He used to hold my hand if I disobeyed."