A Walk Through Hell (Boyxboy)

Chapter 11- I'm Just Not Even Going To Bother With A Title, Use Your Imagination

"Are you mad?" I asked Shane. He shook his head. "No." I sighed deeply. "Liar." We were sitting in the hospital room. It was nothing new, they just said I didn't have enough iron in my blood and that's what caused me to collapse earlier. They'd give me iron pills and a couple pain pills for my hip, because its pretty bruised. "it's getting worse," I mused. "Shut up," he muttered bitterly. "So you are mad."

"Hey, try not to start a fight with the guy thats taking you home." Jay had been trying to gauge our bickering ever since Shane got home and insisted I get in the car because he was taking me to the hospital. I didn't want to be here. Every time I came it was bad news. "I'm not starting a fight." I whined. Shane was sitting in the chair next to the bed. He ignored his friends comment and stared at the ground. I don't know if it wa a good thing or a bad thing that his face wore no expression.

"Why don't you go buy some food for us?" Shane mumbled, turning his eyes on Jay. He put his hands in the air. "Alright, fine. You want a sandwich?" Shane waved him off. "And Zander, I'd offer to buy you something but you don't eat." He left the room and Shane turned to me. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but he bit his lip and looked away. I wanted to say something too. But I didn't know what. I just wanted to comfort him. "It'll be okay." I mumbled. Settling for taking the safe route. "Yeah. Sure. First it was the cutting and then you wanted to die and now its the eating disorder. Like you said, its getting worse. I just have to wait. For something to take you away from me."

"Nothing going to take me away from you. I've got it." He rolled his eyes and took my hand in his as a tear fell from his eye. "Don't lie to me. I don't want it to come as a surprise. I want to be prepared. At least give me that." I squeezed his hand. "Don't talk like that. Like I'm dying." He looked at me. His eyes were sad, and I couldn't speak. All I could do was stare. He leaned forward and kissed me softly. Its was so soft I'm not sure our lips even touched. "I'm going to try to make sure you won't die. I'll even die for you." I shook my head. "No you won't. I'm not even sure that would be necessary. Like, ever." He smile. "If it ever was, you know you'd be safe."

"In the zombie apocalypse?" I asked him. He laughed. "Yeah. I'd sacrifice myself for you." I nodded. "I'm okay with that. As long as you are." The door opened and the doctor walked in. He smiled politely at me. "Zander..." he stopped talking for a moment. "You're having that surgery next week. It will help. Greatly. But until then, I'm prescribing vitamins and minerals that you need to take every day, twice a day. Along with the iron pills because we learned that you're anemic, although that should be quite obvious because of your weight." He stopped and wrote a couple things down on his paper. "You have three medications that you've been taking, correct? Zoloft, Lexapro and... vitamin D...?" I nodded. "I don't take the vitamin D anymore. Ran out of refills."

He clicked his tongue. "Lets fix that." After he was done writing out the prescription, he handed me the paper. "I hope the boyfriend knows to keep a strict eye on you," he mumbled, shooting a pointed look at Shane. He nodded. "Yeah..." The doctor left the room just as Jay came back holding a sandwich and a bag of donuts. "Are we leaving?" He asked, with a mouthful of food. I wanted to gag. "You took too long, no one wants that sandwich." Shane said. Jay frowned. "Well I'll eat it then." He helped me off of the bed and into the wheelchair I came in here with. It was completely embarrassing, but accurate because I could barely walk with how weak I felt.

***

I told Shane just to let me sleep in. But he insisted that I get up and go because group counseling was fun. It wasn't and he knew it. He was just trying to be supportive, but I really just wanted him to understand that I'm not a social person. I though I established that when we met.

I walked into the room and almost everyone turned to stare. I looked down and started moving towards the closest seat. "Zander, over here!" I looked up at the boy who'd called me over. The same blonde boy as before. How sad is it that I hadn't even asked his name? I went to sit beside him.

"Now that everyone is here, we can start. I want to hear about your progress." So we started in a circle. Everyone named something good that was happening. When it got to me, I didn't know what to do. Or say. This was too much fucking pressure. "I...um...I'm having surgery next month. To help me get better." The counselor smiled warmly. I didn't even know her name. How fucking sad. "I'm glad you're taking a step in becoming better. Luke how about you?" He grinned widely. "So you know the agency I was put in after my last forster home?" Everyone either 'hmm'd' or ignored him. "They said they'd try to find my biological father for me. And they think they found him in Louisiana. Its far away, but I could write him. Or call him. If its him." Everyone praised him. After that, everyone broke into groups of three. Luke dragged me over to a corner where this homicidal girl sat, chewing on her lip. "Hey Hanna, this is Zander." She smirked. "I know his sister." I frowned. "You know Lizzie?" She nodded. "She's my dealer." I frowned deeper. "I don't think-"

"She does. Its the reason she's at her mothers." Luke whistled. "Lets not talk about drugs. Especially since you have supposedly been clean for three months." Hanna shrugged. "You so don't deserve that badge you wear."  She rolled her eyes. "You so don't deserve the label you wear. You are gay, right?" The insult didn't even phase him. "You know, I don't wear a label. I just learned not to shout it from the rooftops because my caretakers didn't treat gays so kindly."

"So..." I muttered as it went quiet. "I want to hear about you, Zander. Tell me something super personal." Hanna said. I shrugged. "I don't have anything to tell you about. I'm being honest." Of course I wasn't being honest, but I couldn't share with her because I didn't trust her. "You don't have to tell her anything. She's just bitter about her boyfriend getting arrested."

"He get arrested all the time. He deals drugs."

"He's also a 22 year old pedophile. He's dating a 16 year old." That shut her up. "How are things going with you and your boyfriend Z- hey can I call you Z, or is that too weird. Its just such a drag to say Zander all the time." I shrugged. I didn't favor it, but yesterday Jay called me Z-man, and while I felt like hauling off and punching him, it didn't exactly bother me to much. I'm pretty sure Shane called me Z-man behind me back anyway. I hate nicknames.

"Go ahead. And we're fine. Besides the fact that his friends here." Luke shook his head slowly. "Tell me all about him."

~So I was about to kill Luke off because I had something planned for him but it didn't happen so now he's going to be one of the main characters because I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL COOKING UP IN MY HEAD OMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE IT SO I CAN SHARE

so this is short. Sorry. We can't all write long chapters.