A Walk Through Hell (Boyxboy)

Chapter 1- Airplanes

edited!

My whole life flipped around when I'd met him. In a tiny high school in the middle of a city I barely know, was were my love story bloomed. Its not too romantic, but it's not incredibly drab. The only reason I'm alive is because Shane was there. I needed him. With everything I had, I craved him. He was the oxygen to my fire. The yin to my yang. And while that's highly cliched and a bit thrown around, it was truer than any word I'd ever spoken.

I looked out of the airplane window. The clouds we seemed to be floating on looked like fluffy peices of cotton. Laying on them seemed fun. But I know I'd die if I tried. But that didn't seem too bad either. My whole day has consisted of trying to stay out of my own head. Too afraid I'd mess it up for myself. I'd ruin everything by thinking.

But I was also excited.

I'd been giddy the whole way to the airport. Shane should have been pissed with me, but instead he just held my hand and smiled. Even when we got on the plane, my nerves hadn't settled so I had to talk his ear off, and sometimes he'd lean over and kiss me just to shut me up. But I couldn't.

I was meeting his family. He promised they'd love me. He promised they'd find me just as adorable as he did. But I doubted that. I didn't think they'd like the fact that I basically had to go online and get some custom made jeans to fit me and the fact that I don't eat, and when I did, it was healthy things. I never ate Max's food. It looked and smelled like thanksgiving. But it was fattening. So fattening.

"You've been quiet." I look at Shane, who's rested his chin on my shoulder, looking into my eyes through long eyelashes. "I've been thinking." I muttered. "About what?" He asked me in a light tone, but I knew him enough to know that the underlying airiness meant he was dying to know. I turned to him. "I'm just thinking they won't like how thin I am." I whispered. He frowned and kissed my shoulder before sitting up straight and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer.

"I don't like how thin you are." He said matter-of-factly. "Oh," My voice was small as I started chewing on my lip trying to think of a way to lighten the mood. I would definitely not be telling him about the puking then. I couldn't. He'd be mad at me. I didn't want anyone to be mad at me.

"But that's not important. What's important is that you're getting better. You're getting better, right?" I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I knew he could see me doing this, but I couldn't see him. Which made it a thousand times better in my book. "Zander," I nodded. "Yeah, totally." I said quickly, nodding, taking a peek at him. He looked worried. So worried. And I felt bad. Because I was lying to him.

"Liar." Of course he could see right through me. He always could. Its one of the reasons I was so in love with him. Not at this present moment, but as a general statment. "I'm trying, Shane. Its just hard." He shook his head. "Maybe if you didn't lie about shit like that it would be easier. Why are you lying? I don't understand." I shook my head and hugged him, burying  my head in his chest. "Please drop it. I don't want to ruin this."

He sighed loudly and wrapped my arms around me, pecking my head. "Sure." He said politely. We'd be arguing about this some other time. We sat in silence for about an hour, listening to the quiet hum of hushed voices all around us people were getting comfortable, ready to be off of the plane but also ready for a nap. Then Shane spoke up.

"How's your leg?" I sighed and looked down at my ugly black cast. I've been wearing sweats and basket ball shorts for the past month. "It's still broken. For about five more months." He pinched me and I yelped. "Not what I fucking meant." I glared at him but he only planted a soft kiss on my nose. "It's fine. I promise." He kissed me on the lips then, and I moaned in content. "Well, if you promise, I guess I believe you." I smiled.