One Drop

Chapter Eight: Will

I am haunted by the look on her face. I feel like screaming that the words coming from my mouth aren't true and that I love her, like nothing can come between us. I want to tell her everything, so she can hold me close and tell me that it doesn't matter, that she loves me all the same.

I wake up panting and sweating, only to find Phil standing over me with a concerned look painted across his face. "Dude, are you alright? You look like shit on a stick. I was gonna wake you, but then I didn't need to. Are you okay?" Phil asks, and as I push him away I tell him I'm fine. "Any sign of Jilly?" I ask, but I can already see the answer in his eyes. "Don't worry, I'm sure she's okay. She'll come to us when she's ready. After all, who wouldn't want to join the hottest wolf pack around, am I right?" he grins, and holds his hand up for a high five that I don't return. I've been watching for Jilly ever since I came to this clearing with Phil two weeks ago, after I.... no, don't think about that Will, but it's too late, and I'm watching her face crumple as I tell her I'm leaving. 'It's for the best,' I argue with myself, but I still can't help feeling lost without her. It isn't exactly five star living out here in the clearing, which Phil has dubbed 'Casa de Wolf'. As if my situation couldn't get any worse, I'm staying with Phil, who isn't that much fun on his own. I wish Jilly was here, even though I won't be able to stand her criticism for what I did. She'll side with her, no doubt about. 'Shit, when did my sister become Judge Judy?' I ask myself, and I almost smile at the thought of Jilly wearing black robes, a white dusty wig and banging a gavel in the High Court. Shit, Jilly would probably give Judge Judy a run for her money when it comes to the disapproving glare department. Fuck, what was that? I turn around slowly to peer carefully into the forest at the place where I thought I heard a twig crack. "Alright, alright, I'll come out with my hands up, but please, don't shoot!" comes a voice, and Jilly steps out through the trees, arms above her head and a smile on her face. "Jilly!" I shout, and then I run over and hug her tight, holding on like I can't let go. "Okay, okay, let me go before I die of asphyxiation. You smell like shit. If this is what it's like living in the pack then I'm going back home!" Jilly gasps, and I hastily step back, holding her at arms length. "How was the change? Are you okay?" I ask in a big rush of questions. "Whoa, slow down partner. Let's go backwards for a sec. How did you manage to pull this past Mum?" I sigh and sit down on an old mossy log heavily as another repressed memory rolls over me. "We didn't" I say as Jilly sits down next to me. "We were sneaking out the back door when Mum saw us. She was really upset, like cosmic, don't mess with me shit. She said that unless we didn't get back in the house right now, she'd take us out of her will. I know she was only joking, but I got so scared she would find out if I stayed that I just,.... bolted. I grabbed Phil and we jumped the fence into the forest. We've been shacking up here ever since then. We've even had to hide from the search parties a couple times, but we only had to go up a tree for ten minutes until they passed, nothing serious. Ever since then it's just been me, Phil, and the great outdoors. In other words, living hell. I mean, I always thought Phil was psycho, but he really is a fucking maniac. Thank god you turned up, or I swear I might I have murdered him! Anyway, enough about me, what's happened to you? And why have you got clothes? I woke up naked after my first change, and I only have the clothes I'm in. Have you been home again?" I ask suspiciously, eyes narrowed on Jilly as she squirms guiltily on the wet log. "Okay, I went home. But only to grab some clothes! I didn't talk to anyone, I swear!" Jilly says defensively as I start angrily on her words. "Do you know how incredibly dangerous, not to mention stupid and risky that was! We can't go home anymore, unless you want Mum and Dad on your next dinner plate. What were you thinking?" I shout, glaring angrily at Jilly. She jumps up off the log, pulling a backpack full of an unknown something from behind the log. "So, I'm thinking you won't be wanting these spare clothes I grabbed for you and Phil, huh?" Jilly smiles, dangling the pack between my eyes. "I still think what you did was irresponsible. You know better," I admonish her ten minutes later. "Jilmeister!" yells Phil across the clearing when he spots Jilly talking to me, and in three strides he pulls her into a rib-cracking bear hug, almost suffocating her in the process. "Hey Phil," she gasps, swamped by his huge frame. "Okay big guy, maybe you should let her go now, before you squeeze her to to death," I laugh as I tug on his shoulder. "Right, sorry, I still don't know my own strength." Phil grins sheepishly as he sets Jilly back on the ground, who drops to one knee, gasping for breath. "Anyway, I found this totally awesome little mountain pool, about a hundred yards up the river. It has this cool little waterfall, and it's totally deserted. Did I say this place was awesome?!" shouts Phil, and then we are all laughing until we can't breathe.

It was a few days later that Joel turned up, the next addition to the pack. At first, he thought we were crazy, and that he was obviously going mad too. Eventually, he believed us. Mark was next, stumbling into the clearing three days after Joel turned up. After that, a new member turned up every day. Evan, Ben and Colin all turned up one after the other, until finally, we were all there. My heart lurched painfully every time I thought of Mum, who I knew was probably heartbroken. I couldn't believe that this had to happen to her, the nicest person on earth. I didn't even care that every night I was sleeping in the cold forest. No, it didn't matter that I was uncomfortable as hell, because no matter what was happening to me, Mum was probably feeling ten times worse. I couldn't even think about Emily anymore, because it hurt too much. However, every night she was there in my dreams. Every night I went to sleep filled with dread, and in the morning I woke abruptly, ripped from dreams of her, when all I wanted was for them to be true. I missed her, and it felt like every moment without her was killing me. What hurt the most though, was that she didn't know that, and that I still loved her.