Tribes

Come back

Ryan's POV

11 days, it's been 11 days since it happened, 11 days since Chloe did this, 11 days I've come and I've sat here in the chair beside her and held her hand, 11 days I've spent praying she'll wake up, 11 days I've had to listen to our son call out for his mother, 11 days I've had to soothe our baby daughter by myself, 11 days I've looked at that pale face as her body got colder, 11 days

Every day she's not waking up the chance that she will gets lower, I had so much hope to begin with but every hour is don't see those emerald eyes look back at me makes my hope fade , they moved her back to our room the day after it happened and she's been here ever since......except when 'the incident' as we're now referring to it as, they still have the monitors attached to her, they stopped four days after she fell into the coma, her heart stopped..... yet again,they rushed to bring her back and eventually they got her heart beating again but it happened, it made her chances even worse, I need her back, they need her back, every time j look at them I see her, I look at Amber and I see Chloe but with my eyes, I look into Teddy's eyes it's like I'm looking into hers, the greenness is uncannily similar

2 days after it happened they found Connor dead in his cell, he'd hung himself, is it me? Do I ruin these kids? Teddy got himself killed by being a complete idiot and now this, I just don't know anymore

I can't keep sitting here watching this, she's so pale and lifeless, she's so cold, I feel numb, like I can't feel anything at all, I feel really bad for the kids, they're mother is unconscious and well I'm me, I can't think straight and I....I'm just blocking all emotion out....and that can't be very nice for a child who's done nothing wrong, they don't understand what's going on

If I was to tell the me I was 2 maybe 3 years ago that the Hosterman girl was going to be dying right infront of me id say please tell me I did it, but now I'm sitting here watching her fade away and my happiness fade away with her

"Hey chlo, yeah it's me again, look I know I say this to you like every hour but I need you to wake up, I need you to come back to me chlo, please, the kids need you.....I really need you, I need you to fight Chlo, for me, for them, for you....for us" I talk, technically to myself by they say she can hear me so I tell her yet again, she's a fighter but I don't know if she's got this fight left in her

Teddy comes stumbling in and I try my best to smile at him, he's only a year and a bit old and he knows that it's fake, he's not at all convinced, he finds his way over to me and starts waving his arms in the air towards me, silently asking to be picked up, I do as he wishes and sit him on my lap, he fiddled with my finger for a while as I look down at him with what was the most genuine smile I've had all day if not all week, I try and smile when I look at Amber but it's harder, with teddy I just can't keep eye contact but looking at Amber is looking at a little Chloe and I can't handle that, I know that makes me a horrible father and I am, but I just can't do it

Eventually he stops being interested in my finger and starts trying to get off my lap, but not just off onto the floor, onto the bed, onto Chloe, I've tried to keep them away, I shouldn't have left the door open, he was playing and I just forgot but he's here now, he sees her now, he wants her now, suddenly I lose my grip of him and that's it, he heading for the bed, so to make sure he doesn't do her any damage by accident I carefully sit him down beside her

I just sit back and watch it happen, he lays down and snuggles into her, he nudged her arm hoping she'll wrap it around him but of course she doesn't, I then watch as he tries to lift it around himself but can't do it, I see the tears form in his eyes and here the whimpers of his cries, I see the sadness in his face, his little body snuggle eye tighter into hers but however hard he tries the one thing he wants he can't get and she can't give him, he just wants a hug from his mother and that breaks my heart, just looking at this shatters me, , I see the first few years start to fall

"Mama?" He calls out to her and now I think I might join him as I can feel the tears in my eyes "mama!" This he repeats it as more of a statement than a question

I can't watch this anymore, I stand up and bend over her, I gently pick up her arm and carefully drape it over Teddy allowing him to feel as though she's hugging him

Within minutes home falls asleep, snuggled up with his mother, a mother he may never get to do this with again...

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Hey guys sorry it took so long to update, do you think she's gonna wake up? I think there'll probably only be two more chapter so we'll see xo