Tribes

Dying inside

Ryan's POV

It was that day it happened, that day it went even more wrong

11 days after Chloe fell into that coma her heart stopped again, this time they couldn't restart it, I watched it happen, I watched her die, they have up, said there was nothing more they could do

I begged and I pleaded

"Just try one more time" I plead but it didn't work

"There's nothing more we can do" one of them told me

"I'm so sorry Ryan but she's gone" another one said

I lost it, I finally completely lost it, I yelled and scream and cried and then did it all over again

They finally agreed to one more try but at this point it was probably true, it had been over 15 minutes since her heart stopped, this was most likely hopeless, she most likely wasn't coming back, they tried their hardest but nothing worked and so they surrendered for a final time

Just as they went to turn off the monitors there was beeping, I looked up from my head in my hands and saw it, the monitor beeping again

"She's got a pulse" I heard someone say

I fell to my knees, tears in my eyes, I was as happy as the circumstances would allow

She wasn't able to regulate her own body anymore though, they had to put her on life support, watching them attach all these different things to her was one of the most horrid experiences of my life, she no longer looked like herself, there were only small traces of the Chloe she use used to be

"She can't live like this forever Ryan" Joe tells me as this all become less of a blur

"I know" I acknowledge, I know what he's about to ask me but I just don't want to hear it

He goes to speak but I cut him off

"Please don't say it"

"I'm so sorry Ryan, she deserves peace if that's what she has left" that kills me because I know he's right but I don't know how to do that, I don't know how to let go, I don't want to know how

"It won't hurt her....if we stop the life support will it?" I ask slowly

"She won't feel a thing, I don't think you should be there though...if we have to do it I mean" I can tell he doesn't have any hope

"Why?" I'm sure I don't want the answer

"Ryan when you take oxygen away from someone they will struggle for air, Chloe's body will do that, but it doesn't have the ability to get it, it won't hurt her....but it will be rather painful for you to watch" I didn't want to hear that

"You don't think she'll wake up do you?" I asked him, he debated his words internally before he spoke, clearly trying to decide how to put it

"No Ryan, I'm truly sorry but no I don't" that crushed me

"Okay"

And now here we are, present day, 5 days later, her last day, her last hour, our last goodbye, I truly hoped I'd never have to see this day, but now here it is, there's no hope left, I guess it's true, hope really is for suckers.......

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Well now I'm slightly depressed, this chapter has me like crying but it had to be done, I'm sorry guys but you've got to trust me, it's for the best (also just gonna put it out there that the next chapters are called 'the final goodbye' and 'till death do us part' then there's possibly one or two more because I keep lying by accident when I say it's almost over so you go dwell on that a little) xoxo