How Rare and Beautiful // Rilaya

I Couldn't Help but Ask

"Look at this goofball!" A chuckled shoving the iPhone Riley's father had given me back when Lucas moved to town into Farkle's face. 

Riley had just sent me a picture of her standing in a London street with a not so happy look on her face. She was soaking wet from the waist up. She'd captioned the photo with an explanation. 

"I was sitting on the edge of a fountain and I saw something shiny in the water. This is why I can't go through life alone." Farkle read the caption out loud and smiled as he finished. He handed my phone back to me, his eyes on me the whole time. His staring made me uncomfortable. I could decipher what it was suppose to mean. Why was he staring. 

"What?" I finally asked. 

"Nothing." He said knowingly, pulling his eyes away from me and staring this time at his folded hands.  His smile fading. 

"You heard from Bucky McBoing-Boing?" I asked changing the subject. 

"Yeah, he sent me a video this morning." Farkle pulled out his phone and played the video for me. 

Lucas was filming with his phone camera. It had to be early in the morning because the curtains behind him only let in a small amount of blue light around the edges. Plus his hair was messy and the dark circles around his eyes had yet to go away. 

"Hey guys, I'm sorry I've been so bad at updating ya'll on what's happening here. It's just been so busy! Me and Pappy Joe have been trying to catch up on everything we've missed doing over the years. I met up with some friends and we went out to eat a few times. Well I have to go down to breakfast, but I'll try to call you guys soon! Bye!" The video ended and Farkle returned his phone to his pocket. 

"He's so weird! No wonder Riely likes him." I laughed expecting Farkle to accuse me of liking Lucas, or something else stupid like that. 

I waited. 

And waited. 

But Farkle just nodded. 

"Okay, what's up with you? Why aren't you giving me a hard time about being jealous of Riley?" I asked. Farkle's sudden downer mood was irking my nerves. 

"Maya why would I give you a hard time about something that isn't true?" Farkle asked seriously. 

My heart began to race as I became nervous. What was he saying? Who am I kidding? I knew! I just wasn't ready to admit what I knew yet. 

"Oh come on Maya!" Farkle sighed with a half smile. Good he was lightening up at least. "I know you aren't in love with Lucas."

"How?" I asked after a second of catching my breath so I didn't show my nerves. 

"Same way I know you aren't in love with me." The boy said with a frown. 

I was speechless. I knew Farkle had always loved me and Riley equally and for different reasons. I guess I'd never noticed when he stopped buying her flowers and writing poems. And started texting me into the late hours of the night and asking to hang out just the two of us. I guess I'd never noticed that Farkle Minkus was in love with me. 

"And what way is that?" I asked swallowing my nervousness. 

"Everything I did to show my affection was never enough. I was never your first priority. Neither is Lucas.  It doesn't matter what we do, or say, or how many times we tell you we love you. Because you could never love us back. Not like that." Farkle explained. 

"And why can't I?" I asked standing my ground. Who was he to tell me what I could and could not do?!

"Are you in love with Riley?" Farkle asked, reaching over to take my hand. 

His words slapped me in the face and as they bounced around in my head, echoing their stomach churning sound, they beat me over and over again. One blow after another. But even as the crushing blows landed on me I cringed just thinking about how my next words would hurt my friend just to my right. 

I couldn't bring myself to say them. I stayed silent but made eye contact with Farkle and hoped that this one time I could connect with him telepathically. It had never worked before but there was no harm in trying. However, judging by his next words, it did work. 

"Maya, I think I better go." Farkle stood up to leave. 

I almost couldn't stop him. My brain wouldn't piece together the words for my mouth to say. 

"No, don't go." I whispered causing him to stop halfway across the room. 

He turned to face me. His eyes were turning red. He was tearing up. The poor child. 

"I'm sorry to put you in that situation Maya. I just couldn't help but ask." He gave me a forced smile and walked out of the Matthews' apartment.  Leaving me alone for the rest of the day to think about what had just taken place. 

Farkle had admitted his feelings for me, and I crushed them admitting my feelings for Riley. I had never even admitted my feelings to myself. Over and over I kept repeating it to myself. Becoming comfortable with the phrase, letting it sink in, 'I'm in love with Riley Matthews.' It felt good to say. But a weird kind of good. I was nervous, scared, excited, relieved, and content all that the same time. I couldn't explain it. All I remember is an overwhelming sense that I needed to tell someone. Especially a certain someone. Every time she sent me a message updating me on where she was and what she was doing I wanted to word vomit my confession, but I knew I couldn't do that. I'd just have to wait until she got home. It would be torture, but it had to be done. 

A/N I'm sorry it took so long for me to update guys! I didn't have internet access for like a week. I hope you guys lie the story so far and I hope you keep reading to find out what happens next!