Letting Go

Confessions

Hakyeon's POV

"HAN SANGHYUK LEFT FOR L.A AND DIDN'T TELL US?!?!?!!!! This whole thing is much more messed up than I thought it was." I raged as our manager told us about Sanghyuk's whereabouts. We were at a venue for a photoshoot and was wondering where Sanghyuk was and our manager FINALLY told us where he was.

My blood was boiling and I've never felt this angry before. We had no choice but to postpone the photoshoot. It was such a huge inconvenience for us and all the staffs working. "That kid is going to get a beating from me when he's back."

"Hyung, don't do that. You wanted to get over the whole thing right?" Hongbin suddenly spoke while everyone had their heads down.

"So? That's between you and Wonshik isn't it? Have you both worked it out?"

"Sanghyuk flew all the way there to finish off what he started."

"What do you mean?" Wonshik's face had confusion and anger all over it.

Hongbin's POV

There's no point keeping it to myself anymore right? So I might as well just say it out. I found out that Sanghyuk wasn't in Korea when manager hyung gave me a letter and said it was from Sanghyuk.

Weird isn't it? I mean, he could have just texted me. Why bother writing a letter? After reading the letter, I didn't know what to do. I had a whole lot of emotions floating around. I was heartbroken, angry but also on the brink of giving up or should I say, accepting the fact.

Through time and this letter he gave me, I've learned that our experience was an illustration of a much bigger lesson. I never knew he had this side to him. First thing in the letter, he told me how I was a perfect built. Perfect in all ways to the point where he took so long to find a single flaw.

I have always thought that there was someting wrong with me that always makes Jiwon avoid me, but there's nothing wrong. I knew I couldn't change her, so I attempted to change myself. The only problem was... I didn't know what to change. Until I read what Sanghyuk had to say to me.

"...it is not because she's a totally opposite person, you just have to accept that every single one of us have our own differences and not everyone around you will accept your differences.

Maybe you could try to love yourself a little more before trying to love someone else. I know it's not an easy thing to do but, I hope you will find the courage to face yourself fully as you are, including the parts of you that you consider ugly.

I'm not here to tell you that I'm full of courage or I'm so perfect that I'm confident she will accept me as a whole. I lack of courage too, especially now that I'm on my way to meet her. I took a risk back then and now I'm taking another one because I value Jiwon, a lot, and I will never ever put myself in a position to lose her..."

Well, I can't make her love me if she doesn't and I can't stop Sanghyuk if he doesn't want to. A small part of me still wants to hear what Jiwon have to say about this whole thing.

Sanghyuk's POV

It's her. I found her.

I couldn't be too happy yet because she still have no idea about what's going on. But at the same time, I was rooted to the ground and I couldn't even let out a single word.

We were just staring at each other.

"Oh, Jiwonnie! Ahhh hyogi ah, this is Taeil's childhood friend, Jiwon. Jiwon, this is Han Sanghyuk, my childhood friend/little brother." Taerin noona introduced her to me. I saw her eyes widen a bit when Taerin noona mentioned my name. She probably couldn't believe that I'm actually here, in front of her.

I felt like a jerk. After leaving her just like that at graduation, ignoring her and now I suddenly appear in front of her? Jerk move, but I had no other choice. "Noona... This is the girl I was talking about." I finally said something without pulling my eyes away from her.

Taerin noona pulled Taeil away and left us alone. I could see disappointment in her eyes. "Jiwon ah... I'm really sorry about what happened during and after graduation... I can exlpain."

"Well... You better. What did I do so wrong to deserve all the ignorance?" Before she got mad, I started telling her about the quarrel between Hongbin and I, how the whole group was affected and how Wonshik hyung is now probably raging mad at both Hongbin hyung and me.

I expected her to throw the glass of water at me, but all she asked me was, "why me?"

I took a deep breath and held her hand, "I thought letting you go without even confessing would solve everything, but I was wrong. After graduation, I found myself longing for you. I needed you by my side so badly." She came closer to me and threw her arms around me, "Hyuk ah, you didn't know how lonely and confused I felt when you stopped talking to me..."

Wonshik's POV

I was in my studio the whole day but I coudn't even get much work done with all the mess in my head. I kept hesitating to call Jiwon, when I actually needed to talk to her so badly. I tried to shift my attention from everything to get some work done. I did manage, for a few hours.

It's been 4 days since Sanghyuk left for L.A and he haven't even called or texted to tell us if he's okay. I was getting rather mad and also worried for him, was also wondering if he have met Jiwon...

The next day, I spent half of my day in my studio completing some songs and then went back home to visit my mum. "Have you called Jiwon?" mum asked as she served me lunch. I heaved a heavy sigh, "...I don't want to suddenly rage at her the moment she picks up the call, so I decided not to."

"Did she do something wrong that you're ignoring her this badly?"

"It's not her... It's just that... You know how I dislike the idea of her dating right? And you know very well that I will never ever introduce my sister to any of my members. But now, two of them are fighting over Jiwon. How am I supposed to feel as a brother to Jiwon and also as a brother to Hongbin and Sanghyuk?"

She patted my back and gave me small smile, "you do know that your baby sister is an adult already right? Maybe it's time for you to be less over protective as she gradually grow older. I'm not sure at what age you plan to date but I'm pretty sure Jiwon is at the most beautiful age right now to date."

"But-"

"Mum? I'm home. I'm sorry I didn't tell you in advance, it was imprompt-" A familiar voice greeted us and I looked over. I got off my seat, went over to her and gave her a super tight hug, "Jiwon ah, I'm really really really really sorry..."

"Oppa, what are you sorry for? I know you're probably raging mad at both Hongbin oppa and Sanghyuk so... I'll settle all this myself, alright? Don't stress." She seemed cheery as she told me that. I was still a little restless knowing the fact that she will either choose one of them or put a line between her and both of them. I was just worried about everything that has got to do with her.