suicide ..for give me for i have sinned

She has to

Hey readers comment are welcome at any time let me know what you think questions will be answered thanks
Up date have you ever thought if you started writing about your past you would start reliving it? Jump at doors being shut sleepless nights images of the person that hurt you? Hoping this will be a good thing to finally get this off your chest but worry about what you have to go through after you start remembering well enjoy maybe this book will help someone who went through it to ....you are not alone

Nights turned into day days into nights...she didn't come why would she lie to me why? I sat crying until I couldn't cry anymore. Ms Danielle tried her best to make me feel at home but this was not my home I missed my big sisters and brothers I even missed my mom.
Can I go in the back yard? I asked her yes sweety she replied and opened the door. I walked out on the back steps and sat down. Felling so alone,lost and scared. What if I could run away back to my sister and my family but I can't I don't remember how to get there.

What way I came no turns no nothing this was so far away from home I didn't know anything around here.
As I sat there I remembered walking every where with my big brother tom he was only a year older then me but I felt safe with him we always made it back home even if we did only go around the block when we wasn't suppose to because we was so young.

My brother Tom stayed close to me. We got into everything. Literally everything. I remember the day I got rush to the hospital like yesterday. Well almost that good I blanked out a couple times before getting there. I was in my car seat in the living room of our two family flat. We just got back from grocery shopping with my mom and grandma. As they hauled the bags of food in the house tom played next to me while watching TV. under the TV stand there was a box cutter.

Tom notice the box cutter and started playing with it making the blade slide in and out while he swung it around. Not noticing how close he got to me

So this part is kind of conflicting I'm older now even tho I can remember what happened how do I describe to you how much pain I was in I can't really describe that I was really really young wen I happened ......anyway

Instantly my chest started bleeding. Tom slit me from the left side of my chest to right under my right nipple. Next thing I remember is my mom running out side with me in her arms screaming for help.

Luci honey its time to come in. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We go to court and talk to the judge about going back with your mom or living with your dad; Danielle announced. Did she just say living with my dad?

It was a restless night all I could think about was going home with my family and who was this man that was suppose to be my dad mom had so many of them there I wouldn't know. I remember going to sleep with us all in the same room my two big sisters would sleep on the floor with my big brothers and I would sleep in the bed with my mom and some man maybe that was my dad.....I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep resting my curious mind.

Good morning beautiful I hear Danielle's soft voice in my ear time to get up and get ready for your big day today you might go home. Those words instantly put a smile on my face. I hoped up the quickest I ever moved before and Danielle helped me get ready. Putting pretty yellow bows in my hair and a pretty yellow dress to match it.

Now remember luci no matter what happens you are going to be ok. You are a smart young lady. And will grow up to be great. I'm putting my number in your book bag ok if you ever need anything call me ok.
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