Doubts & Distance

Cнapтer 9

Kibum PoV

After we came home from dance practice I went straight to my room, grabbed some new clothes and rushed into the bathroom. Right after locking the door I started crying. I felt so bad about Jonghyun. What had I just done? He's my best friend since 9 years and longer!

Suddenly my phone started ringing "What..." It was Kibum. Right, we wanted to meet up today..." Y-ye?" "Hey Bummie, I hope you're alright. I just wanted to know if you prefer wine or sake." he sounded pretty excited but, I can't go, not in this  condition. "You know...uhm, we have to postpone dinner...I'm sorry" I could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice "Oh, well... it's ok though. Let's  forget about it, I'll call you tomorrow or something. Bye" "I'm really~" Fuck.

I put my phone back on it's place and stepped under the shower, letting the warm water run down my face, felt the clattering water on my head. I tried to relax but it was impossible, the pressure was just too much!

As soon as I was finished in the bath I went to Jjongs room. I knocked "Jonghyun?" no answer. I tried it again "Jonghyun...?" I heard footsteps coming towards the door "What do you want?" he asked with a whispering voice "May I come in?" "Why?" I didn't expect this answer "Jonghyun I... can we just talk, please?" I heard a light sigh "Kibum, I'm not ready to talk to you yet. I'm sorry."

I felt something warm running down my cheeks, I started crying again. A stabbing pain right into my heart. 'He's not ready' to talk to his 'best friend'. I fucked it up. And again I asked myself 'What had I just done?'

Jonghyun PoV

"Kibum, I'm not ready to talk to you yet. I'm sorry." I stepped back and walked towards the window.

"Was it okay to reject him?" I thought.

"Yes! I have to feel ready! I have to feel good talking to him even tho I ruined some things as well!"

I felt dizzy, weird just tired. . .

"Dinner is ready!!!" Ugh. I wasn't hungry at all and I didn't want to go to the kitchen. Everyone will sit at the table, eyes on me and the room will be filled with silent awkwardness.

Taemin was running across the floor, Minho yelled he should be careful and Kibum.... I didn't hear anything of Kibum.

OK WAIT!

My mind was acting crazy again! The only thing in my brain was Kibum... His beautiful dark brown eyes, his soft hair and... his smooth milky skin... which had a light scent of the hibiscus shampoo he used.

Tears started running down my face again "Please. . . get out of my life...!"

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