A Shot At Love

Chapter 19~Clearing the air

All night long I stayed up contemplating on why Trey got so mad when Nicole told him about her and Sean. I mean I know he told me that he still in love with her, but I at least would hope that he's starting to move on.

Then the way he told her just makes me feel so stupid, and embarrassed. He swore he wanted to come up with a smart way to tell her, but instead blurts it out the second he gets jealous. Now I have to go to school and give Nicole an apology that she probably won't accept.

When I reach Jailen house, I get out the car and knock on the door. Her mother opens it and welcomes me inside.

"Hi, Autumn." She says smiling at me.

"Hi Ms.Hanson, how are you?" I ask her, while leaning in to give her a hug.

"I'm doing well, except for the fact that Jailen keeps talking about how she's not going to university next year." She sighs. "It's my fault, I always hold her back, I just want her to do good for herself."

"No it's not your fault. Jailen is a very stubborn person, and once she make her mind up it's hard to change it. She just loves you and would do anything for you. But I can talk to her about it." I tell Ms. Hanson sincerely.

"Thank you so much Autumn. She's upstairs in her room by the way."

"Okay, thank you." I walk up the stairs to Jailen room and knock on her door. I hear a light 'come in' come from the other side of the door, which is my invitation to enter her room.

"Almost ready?" I ask, surprising her as I walk inside.

"What are you doing here so early." She ask me as she begins to brush her hair.

"I just need to talk to you." I state while taking a seat on her bed.

"I'm all ears." she says

"Okay, do not interrupt me until i'm done." I tell her with a stern voice, knowing that if I don't she'll interrupt me with a million and one questions.

"So, Trey and I are dating, have been for a little while now. He wanted to keep it secret because he's still in love with Nicole. Plus you know how me and her has become somewhat friends. So he wanted to come up with a way to tell her. But yesterday idk he just kinda lost it."

At this point Jailen is looking at me astounded. I can tell she's trying to process what I just told her.

"W-wait," Jailen begins to stutter " Why didn't you tell me? Did you not feel comfortable enough to tell me?"

"No it's not that, it's just I wanted to try and deal with something on my own for a change. Found out that it's hard and it sucks"

"Ok well, will talk about that later. Any who, what did you mean that yesterday he just lost it."

I take a deep breath and begin explaining what happened yesterday at work.

"Yesterday Trey came to have lunch with me, but the thing is that I have lunch with Nicole everyday, so he really had lunch with us. Everything was going fine until Nicole brought up the fact that she was seeing Sean. Trey got angry about it, and it seemed as if they had some kind of history with him. But then he just blurted out how him and I are together."

"Autumn it's obvious that he wants to be with her, and is using you as a a way to try and do that." Jailen says, looking at me sympathetic.

"But he says he likes me." I defend weakly trying to come up with some kind of excuse.

"Yeah but liking someone doesn't compare to loving someone." She states. I think about what she says before standing up and walking towards her door.

"Lets just go to school, before we be late." I say as I leave out.

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The whole way to school I try to register up what I'm going to say to Nicole. It's eating me alive and I just feel so horrible.

I mean I her and Trey are completely broken up, but I still went against the girl code. But to be fair, I did have some kind of feelings towards him before we became friends.

"So what do you plan on saying to her?" Jailen ask as we make out way inside the school.

"I have no idea, I'm sorry is all I really can say."

"Well you better think fast, because she's right there." I look over to see Nicole standing at her locker with a few of her friends.

Jailen wishes me luck, before walking in the other direction. I take a deep breath in and walk up to Nicole, preparing my self for the worst.

"Um Nicole, can I talk to you." I ask when I reach her. I try to ignore her friends weird stares when she nods her head.

Even though Nicole and I are friends, at least we were before, we never truly talked in school.

"Look Nicole, I just want to say I'm sorry. First about him getting mad at you like that yesterday, and the way he told you. And the second is me saying sorry for going out with him and not telling you." I breath out, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders when I do.

"It's ok. At first I was mad but then I realized that I had no right to be. I broke up with him. We weren't working out anymore. Me and Trey liked the idea of each other, because it was familiar. We've been together for so long, But we needed a change. We both kept dragging the other one into the same old complications and arguments, and problems. We were hurting each other and it was time to let go. It was just yesterday I realised that it was actually happening." She sighs.

I can tell that she's a little upset and I can understand that. They were each other first love after all.

"Autumn, you can date him ok? You're probably the person he needs in his life right now. Just don't give up on him. He'll come around."

"What do you mean don't give up on him? Did something happen?" I ask, remembering when Trey told me the exact same  thing.

"I wish I could tell you, but it's not my place to tell." She pats me on the shoulder and walks away in the direction I assume to be where her classroom is.

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Third hour comes along and I mentally groin because of the though of having to see Trey. Even though Nicole isn't mad at me, I still don't want to speak to him. The way he acted out yesterday was very uncalled for, and it's obvious that his feelings for her isn't gong anywhere. 

Plus the feeling he out me through last night was horrendous. Yesterday I started panicking really bad. I started hearing things, these voices, telling me that he'll never love me or like much as much as he do Nicole. So I was forced to take those stupid pills, because I didn't want my parents finding out. Every since I found out about them wanting me to take a year off and get help, I've been taking them when I felt my paranoia starting to act out severely. 

Luckily today is Tuesday and I get to see Martha. She helps me a little with it, and I really need it. 

"Autumn." I hear from beside me, but I just ignore it and pull out my phone waiting for class to start.

"Fall, please talk to me." The pet name gets to me and I break contact with my phone turning my head his way, giving him a chance to explain himself. 

"I'm sorry how I acted yesterday." He says reaching over his desk to grab my hand. "Please just spend lunch with me and i'll explain to you why I acted like that. Okay?" 

I nod my head, still not speaking to him, and turn back around in my desk to face the front.