A Shot At Love

Chapter 20~Apologies, Therapist, and New discovers

"Autumn, are you coming to lunch." Jailen ask me, once she just see's me standing by my locker.

"No um, i'm actually waiting on Trey. He asked me to eat lunch with him." I inform her, while looking around for him. After class he told me he had to run back to his locker, and that he'll meet me at mines.

"Ohhhh," She drawls out " girlfriend duty."

I let out a small laugh, and shake my head at her.

"But all jokes aside, are you okay?" She questions me, studying my face.

"I'm okay. It's just yesterday, I had a little episode. I hate when that happens." I say feeling so embarrassed, and disappointed in myself.

"Don't put yourself down about it, it happens you can't help it, and you can't control it."

"I just wish I was normal. Yesterday is the worst it been in a long time. I started hearing voices. I would like to believe that it was only my conscience, but it felt so real. I just kept hearing that I wasn't good enough and he would never like me. After that I took that stupid pill."

"That's good you took your pill Autumn, it helps you. You should start taking them everyday, that way you can get better and won't have to go through that anymore."

"Yeah but it takes away my emotions. I don't like it, I feel abnormal when I take them. I still take the other pill, the one that helps me control my outside actions." I defend. trying to get her to realize that those other pills aren't good for me.

"Yeah, but do they help with your inside emotions?" Jailen fire back, causing me to start get offended.

"No, but they let me keep my feelings, and emotions, like a normal person." I say raising my voice just a tad, to get her to understand that i'm not changing my mind on this one.

"Okay fine. I'm just looking out for you." She says, "It's just last time you took a liking to someone you lost yourself. I know you're in a new relationship, and I just want you to take your pills just in case something happens to cause you to change like last time."

"What happened last time? and why did you change?" I hear, and notice that it didn't come from mine or Jailen mouth, it came from Trey's.

Crap I forgot I was standing here waiting on him.

"It's nothing at all." I hurry and say so things doesn't look suspicious, and he start drilling me for answers.

"I'm gonna get to lunch. See you later Autumn." Jailen walks away leaving me standing here with Trey.

"Anyway, are you hungry?" Trey ask the second Jailen is gone.

"I'm not here to eat lunch with you. I'm here to see what kind of excuse you came up with to justify your actions from yesterday." I snap, getting annoyed by the fact that he think that everything is just okay.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry about how I acted yesterday. It's just when she told me that she was dating, I felt as if she was telling me because she thought I wasn't over her-"

"Which you aren't." I interrupt

"I know, but i'm getting there, I promise. i'm crazy about you and I never want you to think otherwise. And what made me tell her about us is her bringing up Sean. When we were together he was a big issue in our relationship. So I just felt as if she never cared for me and always liked him." I start to feel guilty as I hear his explanation. So I walk up to him and give him a hug.

"She'd be crazy If she didn't." I whisper in his ear. "I forgive you. And look on the plus side, at least we get to be a couple in and out of school now."

"You're right. Now the whole school can know that Autumn Brown is now off the market." he says leaning in to give me a kiss. And at that moment I felt safe.

That as long as I had him in my life, everything will be okay. He changed me in the matter of a few months. As much as I keep feeling as if my paranoia should be acting out, it wasn't, and I was completely grateful for that.

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"Good afternoon Ms. Brown, how are you today?" Is the first thing Martha ask me when I enter her office.

"I'm pretty good actually." I reply politely

"So tell me Autumn, how have things been going?" She ask me while getting out her notepad.

"Um, they have been going pretty good. I'm getting awesome grades in school, and also doing a good job at work."

"Well that's fantastic. How about with that boyfriend of yours, things going okay there?"

"For the most part yeah. It's just, he has this ex-girlfriend that he's still in love with, and that causes me to get a little paranoid."

"So you started to get more paranoid than usual. That's okay though. It happens. Long as nothing severe have happened." she say in somewhat a question way.

"Well actually, yesterday, I felt as if I was hearing voices. Something had happened with Trey and I just started freaking out. Is that normal?" I tell her, feeling small and very vulnerable

"It's not super common, but it does happen with a lot of people. But what did you do when you felt like you was hearing those voices." She questions, getting her pen ready to write down the information.

"I took the pills. That was the only thing I felt I could do."

"So by the looks of things, this Trey guy, causes your paranoia to rise." Martha states why looking over her notes.

"Only when i'm not around him. When i'm with him it goes away, I feel safe."

"I'm going to look into this Autumn. I'll give you a call when I figure everything out." I give Martha a thank you and a goodbye and head to my car.

Once i'm inside, I get the sudden urge to call Trey, and that's what I do.

"Hey beautiful." He answers, and I couldn't feel more content.

"Hi, I just really needed to hear your voice out of everyone else's." I say as I start to feel tears start to well in my eyes.

"Is everything okay?" He ask, and I can hear the concern laced in his voice.

"Yeah i'm fine." I say, even though I wasn't. The way martha was talking, she was making it seem as if something else was wrong with me. I can't handle anymore problems than I am now. So I had to call Trey, he's the only person that can make me forget. And that scares me, a lot.