Skye:
Later that night, I quietly unlocked the apartment door and opened it. I closed the door and locked it. I pushed the coffee table in front of the door and anything else heavy that I could find. I ran to the bathroom and turned the hot water on. Looking at myself in the mirror, I began to cry. As the mirror started to fog up due to the steam from the water, I grabbed a towel and a washcloth from under the sink.
I ripped the clothes that I had off and threw them in the trash. I feel like I just lost who I was. I wiped my tears away and stepped into the shower. The steaming hot water that hit my skin burned but I didn’t care. It felt like it was burned wherever he touched me at. I scrubbed my whole body viciously. I titled my head back and scrubbed my neck. I didn’t notice that I was crying until I started to sniffle.
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I just did that. I feel dirty. Not only because I just had sex with some dude I couldn’t stand, let alone didn’t really know. I felt dirty because of his touch. His slimy, nasty touch. He’s such a fucking sick man who will do anything to see somebody else suffer as long as it pleased him. The whole time all I could think of was how I didn’t want to be on the streets, especially because of Jordan. If I didn’t have Jordan to worry about I wouldn’t have just done what I did.
I scrubbed my pussy. I grabbed the bottle of soap and screwed the cap off. Basically dropping the whole bottle onto the washcloth. I scrubbed my pussy violently and the tears really started to come out. I whimpered as I cleaned myself. “Fuck!” I screamed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
I let out a scream. I pressed my back against the shower wall and cried. I didn’t ask for this. I do nothing but try to make it through. I do nothing but try to make sure that my son has every fucking thing he needs even if that means me looking a little rough. I do everything I fucking can to make life the best for me and my son and this is what I get!
This is what I have to do to fucking keep a roof over our heads. Do I really deserve this?! No I don’t fucking deserve this! Nobody ever should have to fuck some slimy, dirty ass bitch ass nigga just to keep a fucking roof over their fucking head! I slid down the shower wall until I was sitting down in the tub. I let the hot water hit my face as I screamed and cried.
“Why me?” I asked, looking up to the ceiling. “Huh?! Why me?!” I screamed. Then I remembered that Jordan was in the room, sleeping. How would my son feel if he knew I did what I just did just so we could stay in the apartment? I let out a loud cry.
“Why me? Why… why” I cried. I turned my attention to the door when I thought I heard a noise. I slowly got up out of the shower and opened the door. Nobody. I walked to the bedroom where Jordan was still sleeping. I walked down the little hallway that led to the living room. Nobody. I looked into the kitchen. Nobody. I sniffed up snot that was running down my nose and walked back into the bathroom. I turned the water off.
Before wrapping the towel around me, I took a look at my bare body in the mirror. Not too long ago somebody who had no fucking right to touch me was feeling all over me. I had a flashback in my head of when it was happening.
His nasty sweat trickled down his chin and dropped onto my body. Oof, yes. Mmm. This right here is some good pussy. Now you and your son won’t have to be out on the streets. Ohhh fuck yes.
His words rang through my ears as if he was still whispering them to me. I covered my ears with my hands and screamed. Instead of letting it out, I made sure I kept my mouth closed. It sounded like a muffled scream. “Get out of my head,” I demanded to god knows who. Then the whispers stopped running through my head. I looked at myself through the mirror. “Thank you,” I whispered. I wrapped the towel around me and walked back to my room.
