cocoon || reece bibby

25

i opened the door and saw grace.

"mum's dead."

i froze at her words, unknowing of what to say or feel.

"oh." was all i said for a moment. "how... when?"

"can i come in?" she asked and i nodded, walking through to the living room and sitting on a sofa.

"it happened yesterday, i found out about an hour ago. you know the guy she ran off with? he shot her." grace said, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"why're you crying?" i asked bluntly.

"why aren't you?" she snapped.

"really? she fucking left us, alone, and never even tried to contact us at all. ever. it's been over 12 years. she's a stranger to me."

"she's still our mother."

"was." i corrected.

"ella, you never even really knew her!"

"that's the whole fucking point, isn't it! a mother didn't even wait for her own daughter to reach an age to understand, to form a bond. grace, our mother left us. i was a fucking five year old, i couldn't do anything for myself." i said, a tear now falling down my cheek as i spoke the next words. "i needed her." i said quietly, my voice breaking as a lump formed in my throat.

"ella?" i heard reece say, walking downstairs. "ella." he repeated, his face softening when he saw me. "princess, are you alright?"

reece sat next to me, cupping my face gently and brushing the tears off my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"what's happened?" reece asked but i didn't answer.

"it's not mum's fault, why are you such an insensitive bitch?" grace snapped, completely ignoring reece's presence.

reece's breath hitched as he got angry but i spoke before he could, "get the fuck out." i growled and she stood up.

"the funeral's on sunday. a car's coming for you at 11. be ready." grace said, walking out and slamming my front door.

"your mum's dead?" reece asked softly and i nodded. "i'm so--"

"no." i cut him off, "i don't care. i'm upset and angry about her leaving when she did, not her death."

"do you want to talk about it?"

"not right now. i'm sorry." i said, moving away from his touch and running upstairs.

"louis, bambi." i called softly, ignoring all three boys' concerned calls, going up to the top floor, into the room with my paintings, the dogs following me.

i closed the door, sitting with my back to it, holding the dogs and closing my eyes, my breathing heavy and erratic.