Love Me or Leave Me

XIV. Raindrops

It's been 5 lazy days that I kept avoiding Carl. I didn't answer his call nor his texts. Maybe, it's for the better. He asked if I have a problem with him thru text. But I have no courage to face him to tell what i am feeling inside.  So, the best way I can only get to thinking is to avoid him.

"Psst. I miss you! Pls. Let's see each other today!", Sia text's snapped me for a moment.

"Okay. Where?", as I stubbornly replied.

"I'm at the mall. Meet us in front of "Mango" shop.", she answered.

US? So, she's with someone now. Maybe with her boyfriend. She wanted me to meet her boyfriend today.

"Okay Sia. See you in abit. I'm coming", I replied. While thinking I'm surprised that finally i'll get to know who's this guy.

I arrived at exact time. Luckily, there's no heavy traffic out there. I texted Sia that I'm already here at the meeting place.

"Hey you, there!", Sia giggled as we give each other a hugs and kisses. We definitely didn't see each other for a long time.

"Oh hi!!", as I saw her boyfriend standing behind her.

"Lei, meet my boyfriend Marcus. Marcus, she's my best friend Lei.", Sia introduced me .

"Finally!, it's good to meet you.", Marcus said as he extended his right hand to shake mine.

"So what's the plan for today, huh?", I Asked them both.

It's so normal to me that I used to be a third wheel when it comes to Sia's relationship. She always love to invite me whenever she has a date or whatever. And it's totally okay with me... but not until now... I feel awkward. I feel like a flower decorated in a vase with no water on it. For how many years, I'm doing it for Sia. For how many boys she dated. I forgot the names of her former boyfriends.  she never think about me. I can't blame her, because I'm not complaining.

But not just now. I don't want to be involve or to be part of her relationship with this boy. Much better if she just introduce him to me then stop.

Until, "Hey, Lei! What's up??! Why you're not answering my call or my texts? Are angry with me??", Carl went to approach me and said those things in front of Sia and her beau.

I blushed like i wanted to hide from him! What a coincidence! What a small world!!!

"OH, Carl.. you're here...", I can't give anymore comments. I was shocked.

"Hey, Carl right? I remember you!", Sia gave her a handshake then started to introduce her new boyfriend to him.

I was like, for real?? Sia doesn't know anything anyway. .. how awkward this moment is!

"Yeah, hi Sia...", as he smiled at her and nodded at Marcus.

Carl know how to act properly even after all the things had happened and the things that didn't. He was a sport lad.

"So, maybe you can join us? Wanna accompany my bestfriend so she won't feel left out?", Sia told Carl while giving a girly laugh.

"Where are you going?", Carl asked.

"We're planning to watched X-Men: apocalypse, come on! It's my treat!", Sia said as she grab my hand and started to lead the way.
She's a totally boss. And i was wrong of the thought of her, she doesn't care about me...
But the momemt i saw Carl, I can barely talk.
He came with us...
He bought us drinks, popcorn and hotdogs.

And Marcus was the one bought a tickets for the movie. I didn't expect it to become a double date...

We took a sit in the upper part of the theatre. I sat besides Sia, Carl beside me... And I just can't handle the anxiety that invades me within...

"Hey, you didn't answer my question", Carl whispered to my ear.

"I'm not angry. I'm sorry that I missed to call you back. It's just that I'm busy composing myself..", I bit my lip. I said something wrong.

"Composing youself??, for what?", carl asked again.

"What i mean is composing a song for the next piece we will sing together with my choir org. That's what I mean", I said completely. I am lying right now. I can't find the right words so that's the only excuse I can give. I don't want him to feel frustrated about me avoiding him...

The movie already began. I focused my eyes on the screen..without understanding what I am watching right now.  My mind's flying all along with my heart. They're arguing. And it made me uncomfortable. I can not concentrate on the story of the movie.

I took a pinch of popcorn and busy myself eating. That's the best I could do for myself. I looked over to checked on Sia and Marcus. They're not watching.. they're kissing! Wth!

"Hey? Get a room!", I Whispered to Sia.

They're both chuckled.

Carl is so busy watching.. i can see him on my left peripheral vision. He's eating his snacks, too. He's gorgeous...

Am i stalking him again.? *sighs

As the movie finished, we stood and we walked to go out. This 2 boys led the way, while Carl held my arm...maybe because the light was still dim. I could say he's totally a gentleman!

"Did you enjoy the movie?", he asked me while in our way to the lobby.

" uh, yeah of course",.... but i didn't understand anything...

"Hey guys, are hungry??,because I am", Sia told us while holding her tummy.

"What do you think? Are you hungry?", Carl threw the question to me.

"It's okay. I wanted to spend more time with Sia...", i told him. "Yeah, let's go!", I told her.

We went to a nice, cozy, japanese restaurant.. we ate and talked like it's not the first time. Marcus is cool. He's cute, blonde hair with blue eyes... and I saw Sia happy. And i am really happy for her...

I looked at Carl... I felt sad... I caught him staring at Sia... it's just hard to know the fact that he still likes my bestfriend.. even she has already a boyfriend.... but he remained formal. He told a story, he was an entertainer... and jolly... why am i like this.. all I see about him is the good sides....

I don't want to fall to a person who's never and impossible to fall for me too... that really hurt...

After dinner, I said goodbye to my best friend and Marcus... I told Sia that I like marcus for her.. and I gave my first impression that he is a good boy... then I bid goodbye...

"It's nice to join you on your date.... ", Carl told the couple... and he said goodbye to them...

They left us there... me and Carl left standing in the exit door.

"Uhmm, Carl I gotta go. You take care going home", I said. Knowing that it's raining now... all i need is to go home away from this lad.

"Wait, Lei! It's raining! Do you have your umbrella with you?, are you sure, you're going home alone? Ride a cab again?", carl asked me.

"Yes, Carl. I have. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl..", as I answered him back.

He didn't insist anymore... he let me go home alone... yes, i am the one to blame here now. I am acting like i'm the victim here... i am acting stupid!

I don't have my umbrella. I ran through it.. wet myself, while tears fell in me... I can not take it... that's why it's hard to fall in love... fall in love even you're that getting the same feelings back.

I ran to my room as I arrived... I cried myself to sleep... the rain didn't stop.

We cried at the same time.... raindrops as my tears... 😢