Love Me or Leave Me

XVI. NIGHT CHANGES

"I've been having a hard time, lately. And I think I will not be able to see you around like we used to. But before I leave, I Just want you to know that.... I LIKE YOU, I really do.. I'm sorry for realizing this a bit too late. I know you're happy now. Much better for me to leave...", I heard Carl's voice...

it's playing like a f*cked up CD 'round my head. It kept playing until the voice faded out.

I woke up. I saw myself crying. It was a sweet nightmare.

I laughed at myself. Why am i dreaming weird things lately. Maybe, I am indulging myself to a deep thinking and dayreaming about this lad whom I know I will never have.
But It's totally okay with me now. I am satisfied with the thought that the only significant for me now, is having him as my friend. I accepted it a long time ago.

School has already started. I took a shower and went to change. Yes, I'm excited! Yay!

I greeted my friends at school like we didn't see each other that long. Sia and I were in the same class, while Lhen and Joanne both taking mass communication.

We headed to our separate classes after a little chitchats.

We're doing the same routine like we used to do. We both waited for each other during break time. But after school, i will be the one left because I need to attend my choir org.

I dedicated myself to my choir. They voted for me as their secretary, and I always do my job to check all the attendance, schedule, or even events that we will have to attend to. Our adviser, Mrs. Smith always glad that I can do my job well done.

"Good to see you again here guys! I know how much you missed this routine. I have a very good news to all of you... our Choir is qualified to join the upcoming New year's Eve Celebration in Time square to celebrate social gatherings", Mrs. announced.

"Wow! That's exciting!", one of the member giggled.

We are all excited about Mrs. Smith announcement.

I know we need to put our 100% dedication here. And I know she will demand us to practice the songs perfectly.

We stayed 'til 8 in the evening. We sang the "Auld Lang Syne" which has been the new year's anthem throughout time.

🎶🎵Should old acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should all acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne

And surely you will buy your cup
And surely I'll buy mine
And we'll take a cup o'kindness yet
For auld lang syne

We too have run around the slopes
And picked the daisies fine
We've londoned many weary foot
Since auld lang syne 🎶🎵

We sang the song perfectly. And It made my heart flow with happiness. I can feel the song. I really love to song. It make my heart happy, excited and hope. It brings me joyous feeling, or express my feelings through singing.

We said our goodbyes to each other after that practice. I checked my phone, and I random texts and calls form Sia, Carl and an unknown number.

"Hey, are you already home? Take care sis. It's bit late. You guessed who's asking about you, I told him to pick you because it's getting dark already. Enjoy! 😁😘", Sia said in her message.

"Lei, where are you? Sia told me, you're still at practice. If you don't mind, I can pick you up. Meet me at parking a lot.", Carl's text.

I felt thrills within me. Why everyone is showing concern to me. I love this people!

I put my school ID in the scanner to make me passed through. I greeted the schoolguard and bid goodbye.

I saw Carl leaning his back to his car while tapping his iphone. I slowly step my foot and planned to frighten him.

"Boooyahhh!!", I said while showing my funny facial expression at him. And I followed with laughter.

I saw he was surprised with my entry but he wasn't scared at all. We both laughed.

"What was your thinking?, it seems like you have a lot of fun this day, huh", he told me.

"I am just wondering before I went here to see you.. I'm wondering how does it look like when you're scared. But you were not at all.", I teased.

He laughed again.

"Hey Carl, how's your long day at school? Did you have fun, too?", I asked

"The usual", he shrugged.

"What do you mean?", I asked again.

"The routine as always. You know. There's nothing new about it. Engineering is a heavy course. So, I'm planning to join basketball league. Edward and the rest of the boys.", he informed me.

We didn't take a ride yet. We're both leaning to his car and talk like there's no tomorrow. And I like this moment. I never expected to become his friend like this. We can talk about anything in this world. I felt at ease.

"That's nice! That was really a good idea Carl. I will invite the girls to watch you! Just don't forget to let me know!!!", I threatened him and I laugh at the same time.

And I remember my dream early this morning... it's all about Carl again. All about him. But i thought of it, as nothing. I am not afraid because I am not dreaming anymore. I'm with him like right now. Having a good and meaningful conversation with this guy, I like a lot, He doesn't even know. And he will never know about this... he won't.

I sighed.... "what about that?", Carl noticed.

"Nothing. It's just weird. I never expected this... you and I getting close? It's my role to help you out! I kept a promise to you that I will be right here whenever you need me.. but then it's getting the opposite. You're the one always here for me", I said with my sweetest voice.

"Wow Lei! That's so deep!", he teased.

"Come' on! I'm having a good reminiscence about this friendship. You know how grateful I am to be your friend.", I said.

"I am more grateful for this friendship. I'm here because I wanted to... I wanted you to be safe all the time. I am not here expecting something in return. And..  I know you don't have a car to drive me home...", he teased me again with his simple nothings.

That was so sweet of him.

I smiled back. I have an overflowing heart now. I can not help but to smile along our way home. I will never forget this person beside me. He is nothing but the only person who taught me how to LOVE and LIVE at the same time...

Thank you GOD, I will never ask for more.