Hurt Again ( on hold)

Never Ending | Chapter 10

I think this song goes well with the situation! 😞 please vote guys

All I can think about is Cole. His face when I broke up with him. The amount of will power it took for me to not kiss him and tell him everything. But he'll understand soon.
I know there's a possibility that Cole could walk into school tomorrow with a new chick but if he really cares about me as much a s he says he does, then he won't. But knowing Cole, he will do things to get back at me for hurting him.

I know I have to put my feelings aside and find out who the hell this person is that won't stop harassing me and end all of this, so I can finally tell him. It eats at me every passing day when I see him... I just want to talk to someone. Anyone.

Currently I'm in my room, eating haribos and watching the originals on Netflix. I'm here, in my bed eating my feelings away when my boy- ex boyfriend lives right next door.
The episode finished for the last season that Netflix has updated. Like, come on! Update all the seasons already I'm dying here.
I groan out and slump back onto my bed. I wish things were different. Every thing is never ending. I wish I could see Cole. I guess it wouldn't hurt to just see him through my window, I mean it's not stalkerish is it? After all he is my boy- ex boyfriend.

I get off my bed and walk over to my window. My curtains are always closed seeing as it's the best way to create distance between us.

I crack the curtain open a bit so I had a view of his room. I gasped at what I saw. Coles room was a mess. Clothes thrown on the ground, his posters ripped up and guitar on the floor.
Then I see Cole. He's lying on his bed, head up to the ceiling. My heart swells at the picture before me.
I can't stand this anymore. I need to talk to him. Maybe not as his girlfriend but as his friend.

I open my curtains to greet the sunset that lays low, bringing the afternoon into night. I open my window and the sudden breeze hits my bare arms. I'm only wearing an old t shirt and shorts but I don't care about the cold. The cold in my chest for the past 5 days have been much worse.
I look back into my room to find something to throw at his window. I pick up a pencil and flick it at his window.
Unfortunately, he doesn't notice and I curse. I could call him but would he even answer? He probably deleted my number from his phone.

I picked up a rubber and threw it, this time with more force. You might ask why I'm throwing school equipment at his window. The very simple answer would be don't ask.

This time I did spark his attention and he looked at me. I waved for him to come to the window. He sat there for a while before walking towards the window and opening it.
Oh god I can't do this. Damn he looks fine. His hair is tousled and I didn't notice that he wasn't wearing a shirt. I ignored my girl hormones and really looked at him.
He looked defeated and I probably did too. The break up wasn't easy for me either. I mean, I did break up with him but I had to.
" hey" I say into the eerie silence. It was so quiet we could easily hear each other.
" hi" he says , his face stripped of any emotion, even though I know he's hiding it.
" I just wanted to um- talk" I say nervously and he just stars at me blankly.
" did you not hear what I said? Or you deaf or du-" I snap but rudely interrupted.
" I heard what you said" he says matter of factly. " talk?" He says calmly, looking down.
" you want to talk" he says nodding and fake laughed at me.
He hates me. I know it. Why wouldn't he, I mean I broke up with him after putting him though all of that just so we could be together. My throat goes dry and my heart hammers in my chest at how he's looking at me. Like he can't stand the sight before him.

" please I just want to explain.." I trail off. I can't tell him, so what do I do? Fuck, I didn't think this through.
" I don't want to hear your fucking explanation Ariyah! There is no excuse that you could use that could change anything" he says coldly.