I really can't explain the feeling. I guess it can be described as a great pain that destroys my insides. The pain is so bad that it instantly brings me to tears when I'm even reminded of it. It never stops but there are days where it's not that bad and I can fake a smile and laugh through it. Other days, it makes me scream and cry until my throat hurts and I can barely breathe. The worse part is, little things make the pain worse. Looking in the mirror, walking home, listening to music. Things I used to enjoy now make me want to die.
Usually, I tried to numb the pain with things that I thought could help me. I tried to surround myself with people that make me feel and even then, while I faked laughed with them, the pain was killing me. Who knew I would be so weak.
