Remember Me?

Penny knows.

PENELOPE LANE GRACE

29.8.2015

Of being curious and over thinking, I'm not sure if I'm just magnifying what I see as a 'problem' or it is actually happening.

I'm not sure if we're not talking to each other because something happened or something didn't happen. I'm not sure if we're avoiding each other because one side felt like the other did or it was mutual. I'm not sure if it is no longer the same because it never had been or we've felt too much.

What happened to saying hi? What happened to smiling at me? What happened to actually looking at me?

It was pouring cats and dogs today. The sky wasn't exactly bright yet, but there was still a dim of light, just enough for you to see the person in front.

Having a seat with view, I spent most of my time staring outside looking at the rain. Since when did I enjoy the rain so much even though it got me drenched? Since when was it so therapeutic to watch water droplets fall from the sky? Since when did my eyebrows stopped furrowing hearing the sound of water droplets hit the building?

Suddenly my thoughts were clear. What I wanted and what I didn't wanted.

"I once read a quote that said "choose the second person you fall for, because if you did love the first one, you wouldn't have fell for the other." And I'll tell you that that's utter nonsense. Because it might just be an infatuation, it might just be a wrong feeling. Having an extended thought about someone might just be your hormones going wrong or clouded thoughts. Saying this might ruin things for us, but I wouldn't actually regret. If your friends are asking you to choose one who would give you better advantage, I'd rather have you live through hell. We, girls, aren't toys for you to choose. We aren't tools to get you to higher places. Choose someone you wanna tell things to. Choose someone who understands you. Choose someone who accepts you. Choose someone who stands by you. But, never ever push her away because she's getting afraid of what might happen, she's afraid that history will repeat itself. She doesn't want to lose someone, not even as a friend. It wasn't pleasant and it wouldn't be.

Observe the way you look at her, realise the way she comes into your head, notice how her cheeks turn rosy red from laughing too hard, and you'll find yourself smiling too. Catch her glance at you, and maybe try to read the stories in her eyes. Espy how she lights up when you smile. All of this should be a two way thing, and not walking down a one-way street that will only lead you to a dead end."