The Ultimate Book of Stereotypes

The Damsel in Distress

14. The Damsel in Distress

I hate this bitch so damn much. If you were to ask me to describe her in one word, it'd be pathetic.

So, this chick is obviously the protagonist. Needless to say, she is inhumanly gorgeous. 99.9% of the time this character is a Mary Sue, a Bella Swan.

Anyway, this alarmingly attractive woman is placed in a dire predicament by a villain of some sort, who requires a hero to achieve her rescue. The hero, of course, is just as blindingly stunning as her. They end up getting married, making zealous, passionate love and having 34 pretty babies.

Now look, I understand that nowadays we find it “cute” when the male is prevailing in a relationship. But just because they take the upper hand and dominate doesn’t mean that women aren’t able to do so as well!

Which is exactly what this stereotype promotes.

Just to get this out of the way, I am a feminist. As Maya Angelou once said, I have been of the female gender for quite some time now; I'd be stupid not to be on my own side. But stupidities aside, this is a very serious topic which I am extremely passionate about.

Trust me when I say the day I stop fighting for women's rights is the day I join the skeleton war, kay?

Because, honestly, feminism is just so misunderstood in our generation. First, men assume feminists are misandrists. We're not. Those are two completely different things. Secondly, after the man is informed that women are actually promoting equality of both sexes, and not the superiority of the female gender, men assume we want to be treated like men. No, you uneducated goose penis, I am still a woman. I will resume my treatment as a woman.

What I am asking for are my basic human fucking rights. Get that through your thick skull you soggy lampshade.