Cri De Coeur ||Mikayuu||

⚜35⚜

"Oh, I totally forgot to mention this yesterday, but my body's located here. Heh. Kinda funny talking about myself like I'm dead." Asuramaru chuckled. I choked on my toothbrush.

"Why didn't you mention this earlier?" I asked aloud, since I was alone at the time.
"It slipped my mind. Your life is interesting. But yeah. I'm in here. Holding room seventeen, next to operating room three." He recited.
"Well, I'll make sure to get you out, then. You've done a lot to get out." I mumbled. The demon in my head hummed. I would have to figure out where the place he was talking about was located. And very soon, at that.

Nothing really changed in our daily schedule, except Mika smiled. A lot. He took more chances, kissing me when, I assumed, the Ringleader wasn't watching us. It was probably cheesy to say this, and you have heard it said a thousand times, but I treasure his kisses. They never lasted long enough, but he held off on pulling away just long enough to satisfy me for the most part. And God, his lips. How soft they were, how they hungrily ravaged mine before quickly hiding that the fact that he wanted more. And don't even get me started on that bastard's tongue.

"Still in your mind, kid. No gay thoughts."

Sorry.

Not.

No one mentioned the plans of escape during the day. Lola bugged everyone like usual, asking me questions about College now. I answered the questions as well as I could, her seeming to absorb everything. The only... Disturbance was Colette getting yelled at by the Ringleader after the performance. And, just like usual, Mika wiped her tears and sat with her in silence.

I've... Learned not to interrupt them at those times.

They had bonded over experiences. Although Mika has never stated it, I've come to notice that Colette replaced his mother, albeit only temporarily. It was understandable. Colette did seem to be a believable mother figure to him. Most personalities. Except for the crazy one.

That one needs to calm down still.

It was only Tuesday, yet I felt like it was already Saturday. Time passes by either at the speed of sound or not at all. It sucked.

"Ferid, after all of these years, how have you not found a better way to remove the strings from my joints?" Lola sighed, snipping her tweezers at him, legs laying on their sides as she basically played Operation with her knee joints. The culprit shrugged nonchalantly, plopping a salty chip into his mouth. I helped her, unwinding a loose string from her elbow slowly, so I wouldn't cause any pain.
"Hey, doc, ya feeling better?" She asked without peering up. Colette sniffed violently.
"Of course. Why do you call me 'doc', anyways?" She asked, red eyes shining.
"Because you've always got some of our meds on ya. Can I have some Advil?" She asked, getting a small bottle thrown like a projectile to her face as a response. She caught it with a swift jolt.
Then Colette returned to her hushed conversation with Mika. And I pointed out strings Lola missed.

"Huh. Y'know, I used to think that I would be the one helping you. Not the other way around." Mika said, leaning against the wall of my bunk with me.
"I'm not even helping all that much. I just want you to feel better." I mumbled. Lola was singing Slim Shady somewhere in the truck. He smiled. A very small one, but his eyes showed the wryness it held.

"You've done just that. It doesn't help me feel any less guilty about dragging you into this, though. Don't begin to say anything. I already know what you want to say. But I really did drag you into this. I could've said that you couldn't come back to the circus. I could have found a way of contacting you. You could have helped from the sidelines. Like my guardian angel." He said,
Lifting the hand that was in mine gently.
"I... Don't think you would stay away, though. Huh. Funny. After all of these months you're still stubborn as hell when it comes to me. I was supposed to be the stubborn one."

"I learned from the best." I joked. He laughed quietly.
"You sure did. I was the best back then."
"You still are, man. Wake up and smell the god damn lilies." I nudged him with my shoulder.
"Isn't it 'wake up and smell the roses?'- oh." He blinked, a thought hitting him.
"How the actual fuck do you remember that?"
"Other than the fact Colette's got a giant fucking mural on the wall? I won't let myself forget. Back then, it was a reminder that I chose to not save you, when I could have. I've noticed that it would end up the same either way." Mika paused, nodding.
"Ferid knew you were in the room. His business was with me." He stated. "But, you have to let that memory go, Yuu."
"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I won't allow myself to forget until everyone's home and safe. And you're with your family again."

A long silence.

"I really do miss my mom. Not really my dad. I didn't have much of a connection with him. But I'm worried about her. Do you think she's doing alright without me?" Mika asked, glancing over to me.

I had no words of reassurance. I didn't know the answer to his question. And it killed me.

Wait.

He's asked this question before, right?

If that's the case, I do have an answer.

"Correct. I'm not giving you some weird sense of Deja vu, so don't pin it on me."

Wow, thanks. Not suspicious at all.

"I'm serious."

"I don't know. But it'll get better for both of you. I'm sure of it."

Mika stared at me. A smile tugged at his lips as he squeezed my hand. Not enough to hurt. It was more... Reassuring, I think?

"You're not lying this time."