Talal || Star Trek: AOS

Scotty

Montgomery Scott had never felt so shitty in his life.

Yeah okay, maybe it was because he was so fucking drunk - but maybe it was because he was a right bastard.

"We'll be dead before we make the climb!"

He winced, and downed another glass of his whiskey. Enterprise brewed. Brewed in the same room that... that...

Dammit.

Another swig, more burning, more depressing thoughts.

The Scotsman was sure he wasn't the only one to believe he was at fault. But he sure as Hell was sure he was the only one whose feelings were in the right place. He felt guilt about everything. Not stopping Jim sooner. Not calling Bones. Not sticking with Kirk from the beginning. Not watching Khan when he should have been. Everything.

Keenser made a sound from somewhere behind him, tinkering with a small piece of technology. He's been an unwavering pillar of support this past month. He couldn't ask for a better companion.

His PADD beeped, indicating an incoming call. Acting on autopilot, he pulled the tablet-like device closer to himself and answered, not even bother to see who the caller ID was, "This is Scotty," He grunted.

"Hey. It's McCoy," Scotty wasn't sure if the doctor sounded drunk or not. He himself was too wasted to really tell.

"Hello doctor, what cannae do for ye?"

Pause.

"You still planetside? In San Francisco?"

"O' course," He breathed out, "Where else would I be?"

"'M just wonderin'," The 'back on the Enterprise like everyone else' went unsaid.

"Why did ye really call, if ye mind me askin'? Seems right strange for ye to call just for the sake of it."

Another pause.

"'M tired of drinking myself silly."

"I'm the last person ye should be callin' abou' this, McCoy. I'm hardly a sober man," He laughed a bitter laugh, the sound harsh against his throat. He downed the rest of his whiskey as if to prove a point - not like he could see him - before refilling the glass.

"And I can't stop thinking..."

This made the engineer halt his hand in raising the glass. He didn't notice that Keenser was no longer working and now had his undivided attention on him.

"Yeah, well, join the club," Who was he to offer comfort? He couldn't even help himself, "Yer a human. 'S what we humans do."

"Did you resign your commission too?"

"...Aye."

"You couldn't go back either, could you?"

A sigh.

"No. I couldn't. Not after all tha'..." This calls for another drink. How many has he had? "Cannae assume the same can be said for ye?"

"Yeah... I just... couldn't imagine goin' up there and see their faces, without seeing his," The speakers crackled when Bones released a heavy, downtrodden sigh, "He was the only reason I stayed after Nero."

"I know."

"Have you spoken to the others?"

He means the ones that are able to function properly? "No. Just like you can't look at them, I can't speak to them."

After the press conferences were out of the way, the meetings concluded and the trial - only a formality because Khan got what he deserved in the end - over, the Enterprise was set to go on its five year mission. Everyone, save for McCoy and himself, went back to serve.

Spock had said it was his duty.

Nyota had said she couldn't turn down her career, nor leave Spock on his own - they were all scared of what the Vulcan might do in his grief.

Pavel had said he was doing it for Jim.

Hikaru had said he needed to watch out for the young Russian.

"I guess it might be for the best," Scotty could hear ice clinking against glass. Now he had no doubts about the man drinking, "Look... I shouldn't stay on long. I've got to go see Joanna tomorrow, and I can't do that hungover. Imagine what the ex-wife would say?"

Nothing good.

"Ye go do tha'. Maybe, soon, we can go out an' get a drink sometime. After all, no sense in gettin' drunk off our asses and lamentin' alone. Keenser here can't get tha' wasted."

"Yeah," McCoy said softly, and it almost broke his heart, "Yeah, I think I would like that."

"You go get some sleep now."

"Scotty?"

"Yeah?"

"You know it's not your fault, right?" Bullshite it's not, "As Spock would say, 'Kaiidth'. At least, that's what I think the hobgoblin says. It means 'what is, is'. There's nothing you could've done to change what happened."

"I don't know abou' th-"

"No. I won't hear it. It's not your fault."

"...Okay. Whatever ye say."

"Just... sleep on it," The doctor said quietly, clearly exasperated, "Wait until I'm with you to get drunk again, 'kay?"

"Go to bed, ya mad bastard."

"Goodnight, Scotty."

"'Night, Bones."

He didn't move for awhile, and just stared at nothing until he fell asleep. When he awoke early the next morning, a blanket was covering his body and a painkiller hypo had replaced his empty glass from the night before. That Keenser.

The light on his PADD blinked blue in the dim light. A sore arm reached over to open the message.

To: mscott

From: lmccoy

Subject: Dammit

Looks like I'll still be hungover. If I don't check in within 24 hours, assume Jocelyn's killed me.

He smiled, and for a moment Scotty hoped.

Maybe everything will be alright in the end.