Trance

Chapter Seventeen: Decisions

I open my eyes, rubbing them softly. Light pours through the windows which I left open out of laziness. Clothes from last night lay muddled on the floor as a fresh gust of wind brushes into my room.

Suddenly, all the memories come to my mind. Matsya - kissing her, talking to her, her past and then Amir. Amir with his threats that he can easily carry out. For a moment, while thinking of Matsya and her smiles, my heart starts to thump until I remember Amir.

My heart starts hammering again and I lean up, out of my white blankets. I immediately trail to the door, wondering if Matsya already woke up or not. Either way, I slowly get up, ensuring that I won't make a noise.

"Morning," Matsya comments. I rub my eyes again and Matsya watches me with curious eyes. She leans over my kitchen counter, twirling a spoon in her hand as she leans over a bowl of cereal.

I gaze downwards, my eyebrows raising when I spot my shirt on her. It's an old shirt, the bright red of it is fading to a more softer color. Despite its age, Matsya looks better than I've ever looked in it.

Her hair lies behind her in a last minute bun, most of the strands falling to fall around her face. It takes me a moment to trail down to her legs which are completely bare. "Are you not wearing pants?" I ask, my voice sounding raspy as I yawn.

"What does it look like?" Matsya rolls her eyes before taking another bite of her cereal. Her elbows are leaning on the green counter and she chews the cereal slowly.

"That you have nice legs?" I absently answer, looking them up and down before turning my gaze to the door.

"Thanks but wrong answer," she laughs. I smile slightly at the familiarity of her laugh and she follows my gaze towards the door. When I turn my sight back to her, her expression has become more firm. "He's not coming back. He doesn't break promises."

"I'm leaving," I blurt out. Matsya looks at me with widen eyes and I run my hands down my messy hair. "Today. As soon as six pm hits, I'm leaving to some hotel or something. Amir would happy right? After all, I'll be out of his way and I'll be safer -"

"How? If you leave, Diego will get suspicious on why you left on such a short notice -"

"Ask Amir to write another status," I comment, my voice emotionless. I turn around, biting down on my lip. The words sound so rude and so much like Amir. Perhaps the only way to avoid Amir is to speak like him.

I take a step foward, only to look back at Matsya. She's calmly swirling the cereal around, her eyes looking lost and sad. It's as if someone sucked the life out of her. The twinkle in he eyes, the ones she had for the whole night has vanished and the way she looks so lost while staring at something like milk broke my heart.

Despite watching this, I look back towards the door and take another step foward. "I'm going to the shower," I inform her, my words harsh as I can get them to be.

My own words feel like broken glass to myself. Why am I being so rude to her? Despite all the happiness she brought yesterday? It's as if the threat of Amir keeps looming over, terrifying my each step. If he wanted me to ignore Matsya, I will. My life, Diego's and Tina's aren't worth more than the butterflies in my stomach when I see Matsya.

I've never hated someone as much as I hated him. How can he make me choose? Over people I care about?

As I open the door towards my room, I glance near the window. It shows the city, nothing compared to what Matsya and I saw yesterday. However, it still flips my stomach over with memories.

□

I open the door hesitantly. It's been a few hours since our last conversation. Ever since that, I've been avoiding Matsya. Instead of talking to me what to do next, she was watching a movie while I pretended to be doing work.