CHAPTER 2

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I felt my heart pound in my chest. The fear always came although the physical pain had left me quite some time ago. Still, there was something I felt when he hurt me. It always reminded me that I would never be loved by anyone, and that I was simply trash in the world until someone picked me up again.

I heard my door open, and I looked back for a second. He walked inside with an insane look in his eyes and said,"Where are you going, baby girl?" He grabbed my foot making my spine hit the side of the window, and I screamed out. I kicked at him and struggled against his strength.

He grabbed my waist and tried to pull me with more force. "I'm sorry!" I cried and grabbed the edge of the window seal like I had a chance of escaping. I felt like a circus animal, running from their master to avoid doing tricks to entertain fools.

"Kaya, you need discipline, and I have to teach it to you!" he exclaimed, and I felt my head hit the window seal when he finally pulled me in. He dropped me on the floor and stared at me as if wondering what he'd torture me with today.

He picked up his liquor bottle and said, "You've been causing so much trouble lately, and my normal methods aren't getting to you." he said. "Now, that you're going to leave the mansion, I'll have a better chance of getting to you since our normal family won't be around but still..."

What?

What did he just?

No, no, he didn't say that. I imagined it. I was just crazy. Completely crazy. Everything I thought was crazy. He didn't say he still abuse me after I left this place. No, he did not. He couldn't adopt me after returning me to the orphanage unless he got one of his friends to. Was that what he planned to do? Those crazy men scared me more than he did.

For the past year, I've been playing by my own rules and always got in trouble for not following his. Now, I was leaving, so he had nothing to lose, and he'd just take me away right after leaving me to punish me even more.

My step father grabbed my head full of braids, but I was too terrified to pull away. He dragged me to the attic or his "man cave". He then got some handcuffs and cuffed me to the corner of the attic, and he whistled a sweet tune whilst going downstairs. I sank to the floor, and I could feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest.

I was left in that attic for over an hour waiting for him to return. All I could feel was dread, and I wanted the universe to fall apart. Let the void eat me alive or tear me apart in space. I couldn't do this anymore. God, if you exist, please strike me dead right now.

I could now hear laughing, and I realized my step father's friends had arrived. I twisted my wrist against the handcuffs, then tugged, but it didn't work. Nothing ever worked, and most of the time, I never even knew why I tried.

I then held myself together tightly, and did my best not to vomit as they all walked in. I felt so nauseated now, and I wanted to shrink. Let me go. Please, let me die.

One of them walked towards me and smiled. "You know, Kaya, I haven't seen you this terrified in quite sometime," he said, and I refused the urge to whimper. His breath smelled like liquor, and I didn't want him anywhere near me.

Two more walked towards me, and they wrapped something around my mouth and eyes. I heard them whispering, and my father whispered, "You look so scared. I missed this version of you."

I then felt something hard hit me, and I realized that my misery had begun.

^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^

My Dad and his friends had finally untied me, and I just lied in the corner not being able to move. My own limbs refused to obey me, and if I had been able to feel pain, I probably would have been howling like a hurt puppy.

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