Give Me A Clear Answer

Before the HeartAche :3

UGHHH I hate getting up in the mornings I have to look good or try to look good for Xavier which isn't fair cause he doesn't have to try but he still looks good. Bleh. Fuck it I'm just going with my hair down I guess I can try to straighten it. Fuck that too. 

What day is it? Thursday. YaY I don't have to go to work today I went through that pain yesterday. So that means me and Xavier final have a day to be together I don't go to work and he doesn't go to work either. Yes you probably thinking 'Work during a week of school' Yes I go to a private catholic high school and that school gives us a job in downtown and we go to work once a week and the money we make goes towards our school tuition. But I'm just a immature freshman who is turning 15 in December so I'm 14 working with homeless children in downtown Dallas by myself. How fun right? No not for me I don't like kids. And now you're probably thinking you hate kids but those kids are homeless. IT DOESN'T MATTER THEY STILL CRY. I only like kids that doesn't cry. Besides at 12 p.m I have to be a receptionist for Ashley when she goes to lunch. It's just answering the phone how hard can it be? It can be damn hard if they ask about information about the place and you only been working there for 3 days. So I have a lot of stress at 12 p.m. And after Ashley comes back I can have lunch. Most of my friends go out to eat but I have to take the school's lunch because where I work it is too dangerous for me to be walking 3 miles to nearest restaurant. I hate Wednesday's cause I have to work it's too much pressure.

I get dressed in the same thing everyday. Button down shirt, slacks, tie and jacket. I look like everyone else but I don't act like everyone else or as my boyfriend says it I am very energetic. I don't why he says I'm energetic if I am only being myself. People say I am weird,crazy, out going stuff like that but that just shows me people really don't know or understand me. I guess I can be a little crazy, but not that much, I am not outgoing no no, I am only out going if my friends dare me something but other than that I don't like to draw attention to myself. But I guess I can be a little weird or a lot weird I don't know I think I am weird. Whatever.

" NATALIE ARE  YOU ALMOST DONE GETTING DRESSED WE HAVE TO LEAVE AT 6:15" yelled my father. Which isn't very necessary since I am just in the other room

FUCK, I still don't know how to do my hair yet. Screw it I'm just putting it in a bun for today.

"Yea I'm done I'm just waiting for you." I reply to my father even though it was a bald headed lie.

I put my hair up in a bun the best I can. I go brush my teeth for 3 minutes, reach for my backpack and head out the door until my mother complains about me not taking anything to eat. I can't eat on the stupid bus anyways the rude ass bus driver is gonna complain his sorry butt about us eating breakfast on his bus.Fuck that shit. 

"Nah I'm not hungry anyways mom." I said even though I was really hungry.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea I'm positive."

"Okay have a good day at school."

"I'll try."

I finally get in the car now I have to wait for my father. Great. He rushes me but I'm still the one waiting on him. Whatever. I hate the mornings actually I hate the day if I'm not with my friends but sometimes I hate my friends too. I Don't know why but I just have this feeling that I need to get away from them. Not with Xavier though I barely get to see him even though we are in the same school. But we still don't have the same classes or lunch which sucks cause I only get to see him during the morning and at break.  I don't see him Tuesdays cause he is working and I don't see him Wednesday because I am working. Great I only get to see him 3 times of the whole week. How fun is that to be separated from your boyfriend for almost the whole day. Whatever.