Behind The Shadows.(E.G.D)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Avery's P.O.V.

As the words leave his mouth I am caught off guard.He seems to be impaitent,waiting for what I say but I can't manage to say anything,he steps closer to me and crashes our lips.
My confusion disappears just as our lips move with passion,I pull away from the kiss and look up at him.
"Ethan I.."I start to speak but something stops me,it's like I can't find the proper words.
"I think we have to discuss this."I regret my words when I see his face,which full of disappiontment and fear,so I try to clear things up.
"But I promise you I feel positive."I say quietly and his face instantly lightens up.
"What about a date?"He asks me and flushes,he is so cute when his face turns into light pink.
"Tomorrow maybe?"I laugh.
"Obviously,uhm..so now if you please,we can leave the beach and take you home."He smiles and playfully winks at me,I took his hand in mine and we both walk towards the car.
As we got in and and he starts the car I start to feel weirdly uncomfortable,probably for my answer.
Of course!Darn it!I'm so stupid,he told me he loved me first and what the hell did I say?!Stupid Avery!Stupid stupid stupid!
"Ethan do you...no forget it."I was going to ask if he really loved me but I stopped.
He gives me confused look which makes me feel more guilty and I try to ignore everything around and just think for a second.
I've never been in this kind of situation,with that I mean that nobody has ever told me they loved me and that's why I was caught off guard.It is so simple to say 'I love you' back but..not for me,because it isn't how my reality works,from a deep childhood I've always been raised up strictly,in terror and fear.Feelings like friendship and love has always been forbidden to me,I never had actual friends and from the 4th grade I do online schooling,so I have never actually had the chance to meet someone and fell in love with.
And now when I found him and he told me he loved me,I couldn't say a word and all I managed to do is to stand there like a fool,but I hope I'll do my best to express myself on our date.
"Stay with me?"I whispered when we reached my house and got out of the car.
"Not tonight babe,I'll pick you up at 7pm tomorrow."He smiles and kisses my forehead,but I took his face in my hands and crash our lips.
He wished me sweet dreams,as I did the same and he left,I smiled like a fool and searched for keys in my pocket. Thankfully they still were there and I managed to open the front door of my house,I walked in and turned the lights on,I felt hunger.
It was late night but I decided to change and eat first,even though I needed to sleep,so I went in my room and took a quick shower,then put on some pants and baggy shirt.
There was some chocolate cookies I fancied so much and fruite juice,so I decided that they would be my late night meal and turned the TV on.
When I finished eating,I went in my room and jumped on my fluffy puffy dearest bed,it felt so good to be in the bed,it's like the best feeling ever.I still won't get my beauty sleep tonight,because of the crazy day I had,but it was worth it.
Unknown feelings start to haunt me when I close my eyes,it is so easy to think but the thoughts themselves are hard..
Even thought I have work tomorrow and I must get a proper sleep,I can't help but think about him.
I never get over the way he smiles and it just makes up my whole day when I see Ethan smiling,not to mention when he laughs loudly,let's not forget the crinkles his eyes have during smiling widely.
So far I've always exclaimed that nobody in this world was perfect,but now I realize that the right person can be perfect for you,I have hardly imagined that one day someone would love me but I have to admit that I always wanted to be loved by someone..when I think about the way he kisses me,I got thousands of goose bumps all over my body.
It also needs to be said that he never smokes in front of me,however he always keeps cigarette in his back pocket,he knows that I hate the smoke,I once said that to Cam and he was near by so he heard about it.
I also melt when I look at his beautiful hazel eyes which seem to keep so much with his furrowed brows and serious expression he makes when he sees me first but then smiles and hugs me.
I don't know why I'm such a looser that I notice every little thing he does and then glue them to each other and make out big things from it,maybe I'm a hopeless dreamer?Maybe I'm a fool?Maybe I don't know how to love but..maybe I do.