My definition of love :A Zayn Malik and One Direction Fan Fiction

Does'nt feel right?!

Chapter thirty-five

Tyler's Pov

It was hard seeing Zayn look as broken as he did, but I know I feel worse. I wasn't the one who gave up, he was! When I looked into his eyes I saw no emotion he just stared as if I was an unknown creature, by his posture and the bags under his eyes it's obvious he hasn't been sleeping well, but I couldn't stand here say I have been fine when obviously I haven't.

Right now we were in the limo on the way back to Maddison Square Garden, I was sat in between Harry and Niall having a conversation with everyone except Zayn. Zayn excluded him self to the very corner as he sat with his hoodie on covering half of his face, he looked deep in thought like he was fighting with himself in his mind, I wonder if that was about me. I sat and watched over Zayn some more remembering how much I really do love him but also how hurt I am and that brought tears to my eyes once again.

"Oh Tyler" Harry whispered pulling me into a hug as I hid my face in his chest, I soon felt a whole heap of people hug me as I calmed my self down and looked up, pretending I was fine by laughing but everyone new it was an act as there worried eyes searched mine for any emotion.

"Hey are you excited for tonight were going to PARTAYYY!" louis screamed jumping on me, I laughed as I tried to push his but off me.

"IM BRINGING SEXY BACK! YEAH!" Lou sung very loudly! Shaking his but In my face.

"Haha Lou eww go away!" I screamed hiding my face. luckily he sat down as he joined all of us laughing before I watched Liam and Dani whisper to each other in the direction of Zayn.

Zayn had now cuddled further in his seat with obvious tears running down his face, he kept trying to wipe them away but each time they just came back faster. I hated seeing the man I love like this even though he's made me feel like that, I still care enough not wanting him to be like this.

So very carefully I got up and crawled over to Zayn lifting his chin up to look me I'm the eyes, everyone fell quite as I felt all eyes on Zayn and I. Zayn looked at me as the tears kept running down his cheeks as he looked at me, I reached out and wiped them away with my thumbs holding Zayn's face in my hands.

"Don't cry baby" I whispered kissing Zayn softly on the cheek, Zayn sighed relaxed when I kissed him like a weight was lifted of his shoulders.

"I'm an idiot" he cursed crying a little more looking at me with so much sorrow and pain.

"Yeah you are" I chuckled quietly before looking back at him with worry.

"You have no idea how sorry I am, I'm so stupid I was just upset that you never came to visit and your tweets with all of the boys that you dance with. I was so jealous, well I still am you know, they were with you all the time and me being the dick I am wasn't. I missed you every second! A moment didn't go by when I wasn't thinking about you, when ever I got hate I just thought of you and it made me feel okay again, but Tyler what I did wasn't okay! It was such a mistake I see how hurt you are, the way you look like you could break down any minute! I haven't seen you like this since your parents left. I am the worst boyfriend in the world I should of answered your calls and texts and tweets! I should of told you I loved you every day like you deserve and call you beautiful because you really are! Out of all the things I should of and could of done I didn't and I'm so so sorry Tyler! I really fucked up. I disgust myself I can't even look my self in the mirror ! Because I just think of what a disgrace I am. I've broken your heart all because of jealousy! I was so jealous to see the lads with there girls as I was left alone, I was so jealous of the people who were constantly with you making you smile, because I want to be the one who makes you smile! I really have fucked up haven't i? And I don't deserve forgiveness what so ever because I'm such a total dick! Please Tyler I am begging you to forgive me! I'm begging you to see how much I am overly and truly in love with you! I will give up all of this! The fame, the fortune, just to be with you. And I promise that everyday until the day I die I will make it up to you! I will tell you how much I love you and how much I'm nothing with out you because you deserve it, I will try my hardest to show you how beautiful you are because I know you don't believe it! you are my world and I would rather die then be with out you! I love you Tyler and I always will" Zayn spoke with all honesty, crying here and there as he looked me straight in the eyes proving what an amazing nan he really was.