Attack on Titan One Shots

Jean x Reader : Thoughts at Four in the Morning

This is a sequel to "Jean x Reader : Thoughts at Two in the Morning."  If you forgot about/haven't read it, reread it before you read this one.
If you read it already and are now reading this, you're in for a ride.

2 years later.

Rain poured.  Thunder roared every once in a while.  Dark clouds covered the majority of the pitch black sky.  Oh, and me?  I can't see the stars or any form of light.  Besides my desk lamp as one, there was only one quick beam of lightning minutes ago.  I'm just sitting by my window, drinking a bottle of beer, and writing this letter to you.

I'm angry right now, [Y/N], I really am.  I still couldn't believe that you left me for someone else; it felt like as if time flew by and expired.  I wondered, "What does that man have that I don't?"  Wealth?  Fame?  A mansion?  A Lamborghini?  You left me paralyzed.

After seeing you with him, I realized that you were truly happy with him.  It was hard for me to take it in, but I kind of felt relieved that you were happy and found someone who's probably better than me.  I double-tapped your engagement ring photo, and boy, was that diamond ring huge.

Ever since we separated, I've been going to bars lately.  I've had, who knows how many, shots of whiskey and other weird drinks.  It wasn't easy to get my mind off of you, [Y/N].  At times, I wished you'd go away like smoke. 

Other times, I wished you were with me.  I missed waking up to see your sleeping face in the morning.  Every time I woke up, my arm automatically reached to the other side of the bed, hoping to feel your presence.  Me missing you?  It was that bad.

I saw you two again, but it was weird.  You were on one side of the street, pulling out a shopping cart and looking at your groceries list.  The man you were with?  I saw his arms wrapped around with another girl who wasn't you.  In fact, he didn't have his ring on, but you did.  I was so furious, a part of me wanted to punch him in the face and tell him off.  Why in the world would a successful man cheat on a beautiful, amazing, unique person like you, [Y/N]?  What a bastard.  I had to hold myself back because I knew you would be upset with me.

On the same day, you called me for the first time in forever.  Before I picked up, I wondered if you knew...  And you did.  Hearing you cry at the payphone made me want to go over there and comfort you.
I asked, "Out of everyone you know, why'd you call me?"
"I-I don't know, Jean," your voice cracked, "I just needed someone to talk to"
"Do you want to pick you up and get you cocoa?"
"No, no!  I'll come over... If that's okay with you."
"I'll be over in five.  You're by that grocery store?"
"Yeah...  Thank you so, so much, Jean," you sniffled.

When I literally saw you at the payphone, I couldn't help, but to smile.  It was nice seeing you face to face again—except your heartbroken, fake smile.

At the coffee shop, you had your "signature" cup of hot cocoa and happily talked about your trip to Indonesia with so much passion.  Never thought I'd use this word, but it was pleasant to hear your casual voice again.  At that moment, my heart began to heavily pound against my chest after two years.  However, I kept saying this to myself, "Let's not fall in love again."  I was afraid that our hearts would be broken repeatedly because I had this belief that love is blind.

...

But I was wrong, [Y/N].

We had pasta for dinner six hours ago.  We watched your favorite movie on the couch until you dozed off on my shoulder not even halfway through the movie.  I had to carry you upstairs and tuck you in our bed.  Who would've thought that we'd be together again?  It still amazes me that I get to wake up next to you and feel your presence again.  It still amazes me that we're going on dates.  It still amazes me that you're happy and smiling with me.

I know you're going to be pissed that I left the bed at 3 in the morning and that I had a bottle of beer that late.  But for some reason, I woke up feeling all salty about the fact that you left me once.  I don't know, [Y/N], it's weird and I should definitely get over it.

Anyways, I better get back to bed because I'm very tired.  I love you so much and I am really thankful that you are here with me.

–Jean

p.s. What's for brunch?  I'm a little hungry.  Love you.