Afire Love (#Wattys2016)

25 - Story Time.

Chapter 25 – Story Time.

I was ripped out of sleep by voices whispering to each other hastily. They were rushed and I was unable to understand what they were talking about. My eyes slightly opened trying to adjust to the bright light shining on my and I squirmed.

"She's awake!" Amy voice said now loud and clear for me to understand. They had apparently been whispering to not wake me up. Someone sat down at the right side of my bed and grasped my hand. I looked up and saw Jay slightly smiling down at me.

"Kels', how are you?" Ben, who had sat down at the other side of my bed asked looking at me in a worried way. I started coughing while trying to answer them so they quickly sat me up and handed me a glass of water that I gulped down. As I handed the glass back to Jay I noticed Nate leaning against the wall next to a chair Amy was sitting on and I smiled. He was still here.

"I feel good. Well rested." I joked and Ben laughed at me.

"I bet. All in all you slept for like three days straight!" He said still looking amused. Jay hadn't said anything and it made me suspicious. What was going on?

"Are you okay?" I asked looking at him with furrowed brows and he sighted. Only now did I realize how exhausted everyone looked. Jay had dark circles underneath his eyes and his skin was very pale. Amy sat at the chair with her fuzzy, pink rainbow pants on that she literally only wore when she was sick or feeling down. Ben who had seemed so carefree and in a good mood just a few minutes ago let his guard down and looked at me his mouth in a thin line. Nate only looked at the ground his arms crossed in front of his chest not daring to direct his gaze our way. "What is going on with you guys?" I asked now feeling uneasy. Jay got up from the bed letting go of my hand and started to wander up and down the little room, his hands in his pockets.

"We..." He began speaking but stopped abruptly turning back to me. "We just don't understand." He said looking at me his eyes getting red and I knew what he was on about. "Why did you do it?" He said whipping his eyes trying to keep a straight face.

"It's not what you think." I said trying to explain my behavior but Jay interrupted me suddenly angry.

"What on earth would make you think about killing yourself?" He boomed and the air in the room shifted. He had said what everyone was thinking. Nate wanted to step over to Jay but I sent him a look. It was okay. He had every right to be furious with me. They all had. "Do you have any idea what it felt like when Amy sent us the voicemail?" He said pointing at Amy who was hunching up in the chair. She was crying, too. "You were basically saying goodbye and if she wouldn't have checked her phone just shortly after you called her you could have been dead by now!" He said his voice still loud and the pressure on my shoulders heavy. He now let tears slip out of his eyes not caring that anyone could see them he was just looking at me, hurt.

"It was just too much." I said my voice breaking and the tears falling down my face. I felt horrible and like the worst human being on earth. Jay had always done everything to protect me from Marcus and everything that was going on and I decided to leave him all alone with this. I wanted to slap myself.

"I know the situation was horrible and I'm so, so sorry that Marcus had the chance to lay a hand on you." He said sniffing. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you the way I wanted." He added now ruffling his hair as he always did when he was angry with himself. "But this was hard for me, too, Kels'. It was freaking hard to know that you suffer under him. But why would you go as far to take the only thing I care about in this world from me; my little baby sister." He said and I noticed how everyone else was sniffing now too. Jay was so hurt and I was the one who caused him to be. I should have been honest with him right away but I wasn't. I just tried to end my misery not thinking about Jay. I was selfish.