Jerks Care?

Two Can Play That Game

It’s been a week and Ashton refuses to look, speak, or even be in the same room as me.

I just can’t stand.

I know Mary and Steven see it. I even think Mel and John see it.

They see it killing me.

The fact that not only Ashton won’t speak to me, but the fact that I chose Ashton over Rydon.

The fact that I can’t get either boys to speak to me.

And the fact that I care way more about Ashton ignoring me than I do about Rydon.

But I know, if I could just get one of them to talk to me, things would be better.

Much better.

Sammy just bought lots of ice cream and made me watch a lot of movies.

Lots of movies.

She says it will be best for me to talk about it, and she tries to bring it up every now and then. Every time she does I put on my smile and act like nothing’s wrong.

Kinsey’s visits to see Ashton have increased, and I think Ashton makes a point to walk past my room and be in the common areas just when she’s here. I think he enjoys seeing the fact that its slowly killing me.

I honestly do.

But, nevertheless whenever he’s around I keep a smile on my face to the best of my ability.

I try to be smooth and go unbothered and walk past gracefully.

Hints the word try.

Because as easy as it seems, it is undeniably hard to act like I’m not hurting.

Every time Sammy sees me texting Rydon she nearly grows and it’s a bit creepy. I once tried to make a joke and asked “What is he, the spawn of Satan?”

Lets just say she didn’t laugh, not only did she not laugh. She said “You could nearly say that.”, but I shrugged it off with a laugh. That didn’t really work either so it got extremely awkward.    

I resorted to wearing bandeau bra, muscle tank, and baggy sweat pants. Glamorous right?

Its now my daily uniform.

What am I doing right now?

What I do all the time now.

Sit in my room scrolling through Tumblr on my bed. Eating Nutella and drinking Coke through a swirly straw.

I’m the definition of normal.

I look through the pictures wishing I could be happy like the girls in the pictures look.

“Lucy this is ridiculous. You aren’t helping yourself at all. Why do you feel like crap? Because Ashton is ignoring you and he seems perfectly happy! But you know what I bet its killing him too! So you know what you’re going to do? You’re going on a date, and as much as I hate to say this I know exactly who you’re going with. And its going to KILL Ashton. So get your lazy butt up and lets get you to look.” Her eyes looked me up and down as her hands came up from being pressed up against the comforter and to her hips “decent.”

I looked up at her gapping. Well then. Look whose being honest.

We looked at each other for a while.

Silence filling the air.

“Who am I going on a date with?” I said and to Sammy that meant I had agreed. So a squeal leaked from her lips as she pulled me out of my room, through the hallway, into here room, and into her walk in closet. Where I looked around to see her never ending supply of clothes, her vanity that was nearly over flowing with Mac makeup, and her infinite shoe collection. I had to make an effort to not drool.