Collection Of Destiel II

Promise To Never Leave Me

"I love him."

Sam cocked his head to the side to size up the other man's words and the weight they were laced with, tears of his own choking his words. "What do you-"

"I love him." Eyes that hid a lifetime of heartache fell to the floor where pieces of his soul's armor was scattered around the blood. "I fucking love him."

The 'love' wasn't past tense, Dean didn't ever think it would be past tense. There was something so frightening in finally admitting a feeling but having it end as if it would never be again. He loves him. That feeling will never pass, has never passed.

It's weird, that angel's blood is red. Makes it seem more human, more mortal. Dean closes his eyes but can only see red. His vision and heart are clouded with that crimson nightmare, with the sight of his love drained of life.

"Dean, we need-"

"I need him!" All the anger and frustration and hurt erupted out of Dean's system before he could contain it. For years he had kept himself buried underneath his layers of facades. But now, as he fell to his knees on the floor of some haunted house in some unknown town... everything was pouring from him. "I need him, Sammy! He fucking left me! He said he would always be here when I called! He fucking lied to me!"

The younger brother tried to get close to comfort, but was only pushed away. With a water-logged grimace, Sam stood there and watched his brother crumble. He didn't know if he should feel more devastated or more useless... but at this moment he couldn't find the energy to figure it out.

"Cas." This time Dean's voice dropped off, it was barely above a blubbery whisper. Heavy breaths rocked his shoulders as Dean dropped his gun and set his hands on his thighs. "Please, Cas. Please. Don't be dead. Come back to me. You always come back to me! Please..."

There was no flutter of wings, no trench coat waiting behind a doorway. Sam closed his eyes to the scene of the angel's blood still dripping from the walls. He tried his hardest to will the sobs at bay so he could figure out a way to comfort his brother.

Dean let out a small whimper that seemed to echo in the empty room. "Sweetheart. Don't do this to me. You're... you're Mr. Comatose. You're a hunter in training. You saved this entire world full of people countless times... what will it be like without you here protecting it?

"I can't... I can't smile if I know I will never see yours again. Please, Cas. Please. You can't fucking leave me! You fucking can't!" Dean slammed his fists against the floorboards before letting a scream rip from this throat.

Sam watched Dean until they were both too tired. Until they leaned against each other for support to get to Baby. Until Sam drove them home through foggy eyes. Until Sam watched Dean walk like a dead man toward his room in the bunker.

Until it finally settled into their bones that the angel, their angel, was gone.

A FEW DAYS LATER

"A case might-"

"No." The simple reply was cold and heavy as stone.

Sam rubbed at his still irritated eyes, the crying more than he's done in a while, before shutting his laptop and leaning back in the war-room chair. "Dean, we need to get out and do something. If we-"

"Can you at least give me a week?" Bloodshot eyes sent daggers across the room. Dean was curled up in one of the hoodies Cas had worn when he was human, his hair greasy from lack of showers, and his face pale and gaunt from refusal to eat. "The love of my fucking life died. He fucking died, Sammy. Can I have a goddamn week to mourn a face that I will never fucking see again?"

That was the end of any conversation for quite some time. Sam eventually grabbed his laptop and headed to his room. His gut hurt every time he saw how awfully his brother looked these days, guilt and remorse of his own tearing at his insides.

Dean's eyes barely opened anymore, but sometimes he could swear he saw blue eyes in his peripherals. Sometimes he thought he could make out a figure in a darkened room, one that was too familiar for comfort. Sometimes... sometimes he thinks he can hear his favorite voice saying his name during the loneliness of hours. It reminds him of his time after Purgatory, but he shakes his head because that time he at least knew Cas was somewhere, he knew where his angel was. Now... now his angel was simply gone.

A FEW MORE DAYS LATER

Dean was awakened by a familiar sound. His ears twitched at the flutter. Thinking it was another one of his hallucinations, caused by lack of food, water, or fresh air, Dean rolled over onto his other side to try and fight his way back into sleep.

Then the room was filled with the sound of someone clearing their throat. Peeling his eyes open, Dean's entire body washed over with a cold kind of realization. Almost as if in slow motion, he turned and sat up on his bed. The second his eyes met blue tears were forcibly streaming down his cheeks.

"Ca-Cas?"

The angel simply smiled, it was worn and tired but it was the warmest thing Dean ever remembers seeing. "Hello, Dean."

The hunter was out of his bed, tripping in his sheet, and in the angel's arms before a breath could leave his lips. The embrace made Dean's heart hammer, his head spin, and his lips turn up painfully. A shaky laugh rumbled in his chest as he squeezed tightly to one of the only things in this world he loved.

"How?"

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's torso and buried his nose in his neck to breathe in Dean's scent. "I fought my way back to you."

"You didn't leave me." The realization of that sentence made Dean's tears turn into sobs.

"Never." Cas' promise filled the room until it felt as though the world would burst.

A FEW HOURS LATER

"I don't really know where I was, but it was awful. Full of monsters and nightmarish creatures." Castiel shook his head with a look of disgust before burrowing deeper in Dean's side. The angel was tucked into some of Dean's old clothing, with a blanket wrapped delicately around his body, and a cup of hot chocolate steaming on the table beside him.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulder and pressed a kiss to the angel's forehead. His eyes were still burning, his head still whirling, but at least now every time his eyes met blue he could smile again.

Sam stared at the two of them. A smile of his own working its way upon his lips. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thank you." Cas sent Sam a brotherly smile. "I'm glad to be back."