Patrick: Hey! I wanna be opposite too! [takes a piece of coral and puts it below Patrick's eyes where his nose would be] Yeah! Finally! Yoo-hoo! I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward.
SpongeBob: Wait! It's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite.......you have to act like him, too. Boy, oh boy, do I like playing the clarinet. I practice and practice all day long but I never get any better! Now you try.
Patrick: Okay...I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward! I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward.
SpongeBob: [opens door for Patrick] After you, Mr. Squidward.
Patrick: Why, thank you, Mr. Squidward.
SpongeBob: You're quite welcome, Mr. Squidward.
Squidward: Oh, Opposite Day. Next time, it's going to be "Go Jump Off A Cliff Day!"
Patty: Oh my! The house is even more beautiful in person! [SpongeBob opens it] Hello Mr... [looks down] Uh... Mr. Tentacles?
SpongeBob: Yes, please come in.
Patty: It's funny, I pictured you being much taller.
SpongeBob: Yeah, everyone says that.
Patty: Now if you want the sale to go through, you've got to tell me all the positive things about your house.
SpongeBob: Positive things! Opposite Day... I'd love to. The floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft.
Patty: Uhh... well, you didn't mention that on the phone.
SpongeBob: Please, let me finish. The winters are harsh, the summers are brutal. There's a wild man-eating clam in the backyard! Now, would you care to see the rest of my home?
Patty: Well, umm, I'm not sure if I'm interested...
SpongeBob: Nonsense! I won't take no for an answer. [laughs then stops] Please follow me. And here's the worst room in the house. My gallery.
Patty: [looks at painting of Squidward] Oh my, this painting is very nice.
[Patrick bursts through the painting]
Patrick: Thank you! [Patty screams and leaps up to the ceiling, hanging onto a beam]
Patty: Who's that?!
SpongeBob: I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Squidward.
Patty: You're BOTH Squidward?
SpongeBob: I'm Squidward, he's Squidward.
SpongeBob and Patrick: We're both Squidward.
Squidward: Well, that's done. At least SpongeBob has been quiet. [sees Patty's boat and screams] NO!
[SpongeBob plays Squidward's clarinet badly for Patty]
Patty: Okay, I really don't want to hear another one.
SpongeBob: Okay. [plays more]
Patty: I really don't want to hear more, thank you.
SpongeBob: I hear you loud and clear. [plays One more]
Squidward: STOP! Get away from her! Oh oh, I am so sorry, Ma'am, I hope these two barnacle heads! haven't harmed you in any way.
Patty: Who are you?
Squidward: Why, I'm Squidward!
[SpongeBob and Patrick pop up in the background. Patty's face slowly turns angry]
Patty: WHAT KIND OF FOOL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?! HE'S SQUIDWARD, HE'S SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE SQUIDWARD?! I'M SQUIDWARD! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?
Gary: Meow.
Patty: I'm outta here.
~ Sonia c;
