Don't let me fall alone

We jumped, I fell.

Lauren POV

"This is crazy. I'm not gonna jump there ok? I still have a lot of dreams and I'm not gonna do something that might hinder me from accomplishing that."

"You're so dramatic. This is just cliff-diving. Everyone in here already jumped and they're perfectly fine. You promised me that we're going to jump together."

There it is, Camila's signature puppy eyes. It's my weakness, damn it. Why did I even I agreed to joining her in this trip? I should be at the comfort of my own room right now, watching some sappy movies while eating a pint of ice cream.

"Fine. If I die, you have to give a great eulogy at my funeral. Only good things, make me appear like I'm the greatest human being to walk this Earth." I say as I squeezed her hand tightly, seeking some sort of strength to just jump off of that cliff and get this over with once and for all. But then, she said something that completely caught me off-guard...

"Hey. Look at me. I promised that I won't let anything bad happen to you when I talked you to doing this, didn't I? You don't have to be scared, okay? I'll be holding your hand the entire time. I know you don't usually do this and I'm really glad that you did this now for me. So trust me when I say that I'll make sure we'll be safe once we jumped from here. So jump, jump off of this cliff with me."

I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. The look on her eyes when she reassured me that we'll be fine. I didn't expect that kind of sincerity from her. That moment felt like there's only two of us in this world. Everything went silent. The only sound that I can hear is her voice.

And my heart that is beating like crazy.

I did what she told me. I jumped. Without letting go of her hand, I jumped and let myself fall. Little did I know, I wasn't only letting myself fall from the cliff to the water below us. I was letting myself fall from my own safe little world to her and all the complications that comes with loving her.

I've fallen in love with my bestfriend.

I was brought out of my trance by the buzzing sound of my alarm clock. It's 6am. Already. I still feel tired and heartbroken but what the hell? Life goes on. I have to be a responsible young adult.

Days passed and I still haven't talked to her. I always kept myself busy at work. Spent free time with some of my other friends. Friends that I'm not hopelessly in love with.

Incoming call...Camila.

I avoided Camila like the plague. I avoided the places where I knew she would visit. I avoided all her phone calls and texts too. I have some serious explaining to do once she get a hold of me.

-----

"Thank goodness, you're alive!!!" I hear a familiar voice shout from the door of the starbucks. I forgot she frequents here every Saturday.

"Camila...", I muttered as I turned around. I put on a brave smile as I prepared myself for her inevitable outburst because of me practically "avoiding" her these past few days.

But she wasn't mad. In fact, she seems...relieved when she saw me. That's weird. Before I could say another word, she enveloped me in the tightest that there is. I could practically feel her heartbeat next to mine.

"What happened to you?!" She asked a little worried.

"I, uhm, was busy. About stuff. Adult stuff."

"Right..." She replied, it was obvious that she's not buying my lame excuse.

"Listen. I have to go. I have...stuff" damn it!! Another lame excuse. I should really practice on that department so I'd be more convincing next time.

"Ok."

I was about to run off when I hear her say...

"I missed you, Laur." her voice sounds really sad.

And just like that, all my walls that I built to protect myself from her came crashing down.

"I missed you too, idiot. Come on, let's hang out for a while."

"Don't you have 'stuff' to do?" She asked, obviously calling me out for my lame excuse earlier.

"Shut up."

-----

I missed her too. I missed her more than I'm willing to admit.

I thought I could just ignore her. I thought by doing so, I'm letting myself move on from her.

But I can't...

I was doing fine during these past few days. I was able to say that I'm ready to move on from her.

But the thing is, you can say that you've moved on or ready to move on for as many times as you want when you're not with them. The real challenge is hearing them laugh, seeing their smile and looking them straight in the eye while saying "I will get over you".

I can't do that. Not yet.

I'll be needing more time before my heart accepts what my mind already knows for a while now.

That although we both jumped off of that cliff, I was the only one who fell...