Don't let me fall alone

Choices

Lauren POV

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8am."

"What? Why? Where are we going?"

"Just...please. I need to tell you everything."

"Ok. I guess we'll just continue this tomorrow. Goodnight, Laur."

"Goodnight."

---

"Where are we going really?"

"You'll find out soon."

We started the long drive. It's a 4-hour drive from my apartment to the place where it all started.

A part of me wants to get there as fast as possible just so we can get over this once and for all but another part of me is screaming at me to just turn the car around and just leave things like it was last night. After all, some things are better left unsaid, right?

I don't know what's going to happen between us after this trip but what I do know is that things will never be the same between us ever again.

---

Camila POV

I don't know where are we going but Lauren said that it's going to be a long drive.

I didn't ask any more questions. I just sat there at the passenger seat and thought about out conversation last night.

"I love you but not in the way that you want me to."

When I said that, who was I really trying to convince? Lauren or myself?

---

Wait a second. I know this place. This is where we went for cliff-diving. But why here? What else happened in this place?

"Why are we going back here? I thought you hated cliff-diving."

"I do. But we're not going cliff-diving."

Okay, now I'm more confused than ever. What is she going to tell me and why can't she just tell me back at home? Why do we have to go to this place?

Once we got out of the car, we walked to the cliff-diving spot. There are not much people in there considering the current climate.

Before I could say anything, she already broke the silence.

"You told me everything that you want to tell me last night, now it's my turn."

---

Lauren POV

Breathe, Lauren. Breathe.

"First of all, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because I should've picked a better time to tell you but I didn't."

She just nodded and I took that as a cue to go on.

"Do you remember what happened at this very place?"

"We went cliff-diving."

"Right. Do you remember what you told me when I almost backed out?"

"I-I don't. I'm sorry."

"That's ok.

Well, you told me that you'll never let anything bad happen to me once we jumped. You also told me that you'll be holding my hand the entire time.

And you did all of that.

Except for one thing..."

"What is that?"

"You let me fall alone."

"I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

"I mean, although we both jumped on this very cliff, I was the only one who fell.

This is where I fell in love with you, Camz.

This is where it all started for me.

You made me fall hopelessly in love with you without you even realizing it.

The way that you held my hand, the way that you made me feel safe, even though we're practically challenging death to come and get us. The way that you looked into my eyes, there's something. For a moment there I was actually convinced that you feel the same way about me.

Everything stopped there for a while, Camz. Everything stopped and all I could hear was the calming tone of your voice and the deafening beat of my heart. Right then and there, I knew that it beats that way not because of my nervousness but because of you. From that moment, I knew that every beat of my heart will now belong to you.

Trust me, there's not a single day that passed by without me trying to convince myself that I was just carried away by the moment, that I wasn't really in love with you. That I was just seeking love and when you did all that, I was too lonely to know the difference between a sisterly love and a love more than that. I tried really hard to suppress all my feelings but I guess you can't really suppress something that's bigger than yourself, right?

Days passed, then days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months and my feelings didn't lessen even a tad bit. It only got stronger and deeper with every smile that you let me see, every laugh that you shared with me, every touch that you made me feel, every word that you let me hear and every look that you give my way.
Camila, I was already in way too deep and I don't know how to get out anymore.

Maybe I was already in love with you from the moment that we met. Maybe the feelings have always been there, lurking in the depths of my being. And maybe, what happened that day in this place just served as a catalyst that ignited all of my bottled up feelings.

Can I ask you one last question?"

"Of course, what is it?" I can hear the trembling in her voice.

"Do you really not feel the same way about me?"

"I don't know." She answered looking away from me.

"Camila, I'm gonna need more than that.

I need to know because I'm not sure if I can continue being your bestfriend.

If you tell me that there's a chance for us then I'm going to wait. I'll wait for as long as I have to. If in the end, I'd get to call you mine.

But if you tell me otherwise, then I'm gonna leave. I'll stay away not because I want to but because I need to. I can't continue being your bestfriend when deep down I know that I want something more. I need to leave or else I'll lose my sanity.

I know what I'm asking you to do is crazy, and very selfish and desperate of me.

Jump off of this cliff with me, one last time.

But now, do what you failed to do before.

Fall with me. Fall for me."

Camila just stood there looking overwhelmed by everything I just said to her. I can't blame her, really. But this silence is not helping the situation. I need to know.

And I need to know, now.

"Please say something, Camila.

Do I have to leave or can I stay?"