I've been in this room for three hours. I feel like I have cried every ounce of tears I possibly could. The remembrance of Josh hurts. Everything that I had tried so hard to forget is back now. I can't stop thinking about all of those guys that I was with all because of one guy that broke my heart. I can't help but want to find Josh and talk to him, to tell him how he ruined my life. I wipe the remaining tears away with the back of my hand then walk out of my bedroom and downstairs. My mom is sitting on the couch in the living room. "Does Josh still live here?" I ask my mom and she immediately turns around to look at me.
"Uhm...I think so. I know his mom still lives in the same house."
I remember that I don't have a way to get anywhere. "Can I use your car?" My mom nods her head and points to her keys laying on the coffee table that stands next to the couch. I grab the keys and walk out of the house.
When I pull up to the house the memory haunts my mind. This is where I found Josh and that girl kissing in front of the red door. I push the memory out of my mind and walk up to the front door. After I knock on the door it slowly opens revealing Josh's mom. She's aged slightly since the last time I saw her.
"Mrs. Moore..." The woman's eyes grow wide and I can see the hint of sadness in them.
"Oh my god...Lydia." She takes a step towards me pulling me into a hug.
"I was looking for Josh." I tell her and she pulls away.
"Oh. He's upstairs. Do you want me to get him for you?" The thought of seeing Josh after almost five years makes my stomach churn.
"Yeah." Josh's mother leaves me standing on the porch.
"Lydia..." I lift my head up and look at him and every feeling of pain comes back. It almost makes me break down and cry in front of him.
"Is it okay if we take a walk?" I ask Josh and he nods his head while closing the door behind him.
"How have you been?" Josh asks me. His voice is shaky, making it clear that he is nervous.
"I've been okay. Just trying to figure out what to do with my life." He looks at me and gives me a weak smile.
"How about you? What have you been up to?" I look at him.
"I just got married." A smile slowly appears on his face.
"That's great! Congratulations." He looks at me and smiles.
"Thank you. She's actually the girl from..." He stops his sentence and looks at me with a guilty look on his face. "I'm sorry." He tells me and looks at the ground as he walks.
"Josh, it was high school. It's okay." He looks away from the ground and back at me.
"No it's not. I saw you change into someone that you're not and it was all my fault. I should have told you why I cheated on you." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Amy and I were just friends but we ended up falling for each other. We kissed and that's when you saw us. I wanted to tell you what happened but you had already changed into this new person. You were always with a guy and went to parties. I knew you were broken. I know that look when it comes to you. Like right now I can see it in your eyes." Josh looks into my eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you any worse than I already had so I stayed away from you."
Josh's words cure the ache in my heart. "You still cared about me." I say softly.
"I never stopped caring. I loved you." I can't help but compare mine and Harry's situation with Josh and Amy. He didn't purposely cheat on me he just fell for someone else. Before I can stop myself I wrap my arms around Josh's torso. His grip tightens around me.
"You don't know how much this means to me." I tell him.
"I should have told you earlier." Josh says and I pull away from him.
"No. If you told me earlier I wouldn't have moved to Atlanta and if I didn't move there I would have never met Harry. You have Amy and I have Harry. Everything really does happen for a reason." My lips form a smile and Josh looks at me also smiling.
"I don't know who this Harry guy is but it sounds like he makes you happy." I give Josh another hug.
"I need to go back and see him."
