Just Let It Be.

15 - Being Alone or Not

-Fews days after the incident Normal P.O.V.-

It's been a while since I've stepped out my room besides going to school...I haven't talked to anyone. I just get up. Go to school. Come home and go straight to my room and repeat. I don't even remember if I've eaten in the last few days. My mind has been to jumbled up to even try and relax. The others have tried to talked to me but I've ignored them all. I feel like my whole world is upside down once again. I hate it. Why can't I just be normal. Why did I have to have feelings for others....honestly why didn't I just give up freshman year like I wanted too... Sighing as I lean against my headboard I hear a knock on my door but I don't get up I just stare. "Little sis..? Will you please come down and eat something...I'm worried about you...I even picked some fruits from my garden for you. Please come out.." Its Yuuma...I look at the door and hesitate to move. I know how much his garden means to him and if he's worried I should say something right? I get up but don't open the door. "Yuuma....thank you. I...I'll come get some in a bit. Promise." I stay by the door "okay.." I hear footsteps going down the hall which meant that he walked away. I will have to leave my room now even if its only few minutes. I take deep breaths before opening my door. I look down the hallways and walk. Suddenly I feel dizzy and my legs feel wobbly. Must be the effects of not eating for a while. I guess its a good thing Yuuma asked me to eat. I don't remember when I last did. I'm making them worry...causing more trouble. Go figure. I make it to the kitchen as safe as I could without falling down. I noticed no one was around but there was a plate with food and fruits along with some juice. I smile a bit seeing a little note with my name. Yuuma you're the best. I sit on the counter using the strength I had left and started to nibble on the food. Naturally my mind was telling me I didn't want the food but my stomach didn't agree so I was forcing myself to eat. I only hope no one comes in here and sees me. I don't think I can face anyone right now. I can't even look at them at school. Ha....school...I'm becoming a loner again. Monica takes Shuu away. I wonder if she knows..? Did he tell her? I doubt it. Maybe I was being used....NO! I...I can't think that...Shuu wouldn't do that to me. I nibble on a strawberry clearly lost in the chaos of my mind.

Azusa's P.O.V.

I miss her...we live in the same house but I barely see her. This is all his fault! How the hell could he do that to her? Just when I was getting closer to her....making her mine...he takes her away... And what's worse is shes taking it out on herself...blaming herself. He probably doesn't even realize the pain he's caused her. She must feel alone...I know I do. I want to hold her...tell her it will all be okay..that I'm here no matter what.. Ugh. I want to see her, but she hasn't let anyone in her room. I've tried to talk to her. Through texting or even a phone call which did work but she asked if she could just be alone for a while in which I agreed too. I regret that but I will respect her choice and wait for her.

My room feels empty and stuffy..I decide to go sit on the roof for a bit and start climbing out my window and notice Monica is coming in through the gate. Great she's here.. Wait she's here! I need to find Sam! I quickly jump back through my window and to Sam's room. I look and see the door open slightly. She's not in there... Hmm I look everywhere I can think of except...the kitchen. So I head there and sigh with relief seeing her there nibbling on some fruit. She was startled to see me and I simply smile at her and notice her cheeks turn a bit red. "How are you feeling?" I ask her. She sets the strawberry she was eating down and stays quiet. I only sit at the table and wait. "I'm...I'm okay I think..." She answered. Even though her voice was quite soft it was still nice to hear it after so long... "Are you really okay..?"  I questioned knowing she wasn't. She looked down and then at me with sad eyes "I'm not. But lying to myself will help me get over it....I think. Azusa I...don't know what to do...I'm in love with him...but I'm in love you as well...I've realize this... it's not right... I'm so confused. I feel disgusted in myself....I'm not sure if I should do. Wait for him or be with you..or to not be with either of you..everything is so messed up. It's impossible to think straight... I'm lost.." When those words left her mouth I was already standing and heading towards her. I placed my hand under her chin and tilted her head up and kissed her. "It is going to be okay. I'm here for you. I will help you with everything that troubles you. So please don't do this on your own. Don't hide away from me and be alone to figure everything on your own...I'm here Sam. Use me for anything...I won't mind." I tell her and I mean every word. I kiss her once more and then hug her and she hugs me back. "Thank you Azusa. I love you..." When she said that I couldn't help but feel butterflies and feel absolute happiness.