What the Hell is Going On?

Panic Button

Trigger warning: mention of anxiety disorder and panic disorders

Sam stared at Toby. This boy knew things about him, but how much does he know. 'What if he knows your-' he forced his mind to shut up. He would not go down that road. Beside, this boy seems to be accepting and kind, but still he had an anxiety disorder. He couldn't get the thoughts out of his mind of the endless possibilities. Sam started to feel his heart rate elevate and his breathing fall out of pattern. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, the rising and falling of his shirt, the steady breathing of Toby and Killer right next to him.

"Sam? Hey dude, are you alright? What's wrong? How can I help?" Toby was saying in a calming, sweet voice. Toby had grown up with anxiety problems as well, but he had been forced to ignore it if he wanted to say on Base. Toby knew every person was different, and he didn't want to do something that would trigger a full anxiety attack.

Sam stood up suddenly and started to walk around. Killer tugged on his leash until Toby stood up. Sam was slowly calming his racing heart. He paced back and forth with Killer right on his heels, nudging at his ankles. Finally, Sam reached down and started to pet Killer, letting him hop up and lick his face.

"I'm sorry about that. I'll be alright. You are correct though, I do have a single question." Sam said a few moment later.

"It's okay. I understand. Are you okay?" Toby replied. His color was now a light blue. It was light, but opaque. 'Understanding' Sam thought.

"Yes. I am. Thank you for your concern. However, like I said, I do have a question."

"What is it? I'll try to answer the best I can." He replied.

"How much about me do you know?" Sam ask with a slight quiver in his voice.

Toby replied with much though. "Before you told me anything about you, I knew 4 things: Who your mother was, what day you changed, your old address, and that I saw something in you that I've never seen in anyone else, a bad past, but a hope for a better future."

Sam looked slightly relived, but still nervous. "How much about my past do you know?"

"Absolutely nothing. But I had a bad past, and I own a mirror, I do know what it looks like."

"What about everyone else? How much do they know about me or my past?" Sam looked a little better but he still wasn't completely back to the boy who attacked him at 12AM.

"Almost everyone except me and 10 others don't even know you exist. And those 10 know only what I knew. The elders, and there are 5, know everything. However, please do not worry, they are very open-minded and forgiving. So whatever demons you are trying to bury, I assure you, they'll stay buried." Sam then gave a great sigh.
"Thank goodness." He mumbled. The clock to the right of him read 2:58. At some point during their conversation, they had sat down once again on the bench with Killer resting at Sam's feet.

"Train will be here any minute, best get ready." Toby said and in the distance, they heard the train's whistle.