Abuse Me

Odd Future

"We're not late are we?" Anastasia's Aunt Camille was shuffling out their car.

"No." Anastasia looked around and saw only a few cars at the church attending the burial of her parents. Most doctors as her father was respected by many surgeons.

She stood in heels black heels, a little black dress with flowered tights underneath and a bag borrowed from her Aunt. Designer of course.

She did her best not to affected by the even taming place right now.

Her parents being laid to rest, that is.

She had her arms crossed and observed the flowers as they walked into the church. "What are these?"

"Chrysanthemums." Her Aunt was digging in her own bag.

"Their too bright. My mother would hate them."

"Im sure she would love them." Her Aunt insisted.

Actually her mothers favourite flowers were Yucca Flowers. They were so plain and simple. Every room in their house had three thanks to her mother possessing OCD.

She came across a mirror and observed herself. I look so... calm.

Her Aunt stood behind her with tears in her eyes. "Chin up." She held her shoulders. "They would love to know that your strong. As much as Anastasia would deny it, she knew her Aunt was right.

"What happened to your lip?"

Anastasia saw her pale pink lips a slight crimson from  Kenny biting her lip last night.

Her Aunt pulled out a black tube of lipstick. It was a bright red. She turned Anastasia to her and put it on her lips. "Your such a wonderful girl, Ana. Im sorry they're gone."

She looked at her Aunt in the eyes.

"Put your lips together." She made a puckering motion and handed it to Anastasia just in case she needed more.

Anastasia did as told and looked at her reflection. She looked brighter. Not dull and so... sad.

Before Anastasia could thank her Aunt she was already walking ahead. She put the black tube in her bag.

Anastasia went to catch up and came to an abrupt stop as they made it to where the funeral was being held. What is this?

Colours were everywhere. It made her a little sick. She turned to leave and her uncle looked at her. "Anastasia?"

"Fine. I just want- air." She pushed past a few guests and realized her breath was pacing quicker.

She made it outside and leaned on the wall of the church. I cant do this.

Her insides hurt and before she knew it, she was crying. Hard.

Anastasia sat on the stairs aside the main entrance and covered her face by looking down.

"Anastasia?" Lucas stood before her giving a weak look of composure.

She didnt look up and he sat next to her. She held his arm and cried onto him.

Time was irrelevant before she could stop crying so much. As they made their way inside an organist began playing.

Taking a seat next to her Aunt and Lucas sitting next to her, she remained holding his arm. Like a terrified child.

The picture of both her parents with flowers in front of Anastasia never met her gaze. A woman stood in front of everyone and began speaking.

But, Anastasia wasnt listening.

This is it. I really dont have anyone after this...

She thought back to her being part of... a family. It might've been a formal relationship with her parents but, it was hers. She would miss it.

As Anastasia's mind went through all the memories and disregarded the various people paying their respects to her and her family... it was over.

"That was fast." Her voice cracked. Her eyes caught the hands of a small clock on the wall. Almost four hours.

A man came by and gave her and her Aunt the remaining flowers. She nodded at him as a thank you. She stood at the wrong time.

"Anastasia would you like to say anything?"

She stared at the woman speaking.

No.

"I- yeah." She held her arms and went to the front. The woman pat her shoulder and stood behind her. She was greeting by mourning faces and dead stares. She grew uncomfortable and shifted uneasy. What do I do without breaking down?

She sighed."Im going to miss my parents a lot obviously... uhm." She bit her lip and just remembered them. "Mostly good things about them. My father would loved by his job. He would..." She smiled small and played with her hands. "He used to cook and pretend I was the nurse helping him. It was... silly. But, I loved it." Her eyes began to water again and she thought of her mom. "My mom was... weird."

A few people cracked smiles.

"No not im a bad way but, it was her. She had OCD and everything had to be in order. Somehow this wasnt effective because Im such a mess right now." She wiped her eyes. "Sorry. Um. Im gonna miss being called someones daughter in all honesty but, their in a happier place."

Without me. I need to wrap this up. Anastasia's legs locked.

"And Im just happy I have so many good memories... with both of them."

She went back to sit down and her Aunt taking her hand and squeezing it told her she did good.

"That was really sweet. Thank you Anastasia." She smiled and Anastasia did also.

She was beginning to feel sick. I need to go. Now.

Maybe it was luck but, as a prayer was lead. It was over. Before, people could come over to say their condolences, Anastasia was out the doors.

"Where are you going?" She heard Lucas walk behind her.

The faces, the colours, the black being born by everyone. I feel sick.

As she made her way to what she guessed was the bathroom she threw up.

"That disgusting." A girls voice shrieked outside the stall.

Anastasia didnt care.  Her hair was held out the way and she assumed it was Kenny.

Walking out the stall after flushing away her feelings, she rinsed her mouth out a few times.

"You look so dead. Oh my god."

Whats her deal? Anastasia looked at her and stared. "Hayley?"

"Hi to you too." She primped her hair.

"Why are you-?"

"My flight was late and I thought it would be a surprise. Obvious you dont need that right now." She side glanced at Anastasia and gathered her own bag. "I'll see you later then."

She left and Anastasia felt the need to vomit again.

*****

I got a little watery eyed from writing this. Just thinking of loosing my parents and having to stand infront of so many people would probably break me.

Anyways, enjoy this.

*****