Abuse Me

I Cant

Anastasia looked at her reflection and met dead eyes. Her makeup couldnt fix that.

She pulled out the black tube and looked at it. She put the deep red on her lips and felt a little better. She replaced her lipstick and wondered about Hayley. They never were on the finest terms and she didnt need that right now.

Sighing she closed her eyes and clenched her fist.

"Im proud of you." She could feel Kenny kiss her cheek and rub her shoulders.

Anastasia opened her eyes and gathered her things, leaving.

She saw her Aunt hugging Hayley and Lucas leaning on the wall with Andre.

Anastasia stood near Lucas and he looked at her. "My sisters home..."

"I saw."

He looked at Hayley and she waved at him. He didnt reply but, looked away.

Her Aunt and Uncles home was packed with people. All mourning or gossiping. Anastasia sat by a Madisons mother. "I loved your little speech. It was so emotional. Very lifetime."

Is she referring my speech to a tv channel?

Anastasia faked a smile and nodded.

Madison's mom hugged her shoulders. "If you ever need anything you can call me through Madison."

I really don't want to.

"Thank you." Anastasia nodded and excused herself standing. She had heard so many comments of her in the last hour and she knew this reception wouldnt end anytime soon.

Anastasia made her way to the kitchen and offered to help the servants placing food on counters. "No. But thank you for offering."

She nodded and put her glass in the sink.

She passed the other glasses half filled with champagne. She'd kill for a drink...but, something stronger. To forget today. Or right now.

Anastasia got a grip and averted her eyes away. She began walking to her room and held a straight face as more people said their apologies. She looked over and saw Ava with Andre and James. She looked nervous until Lucas stood by her. He bought her. He was probably ecstatic right now.She smiled at them.

Must feel nice...

Thankfully the door was closed and Anastasia went in, shutting it behind her. Turning and leaning her face on the back of the door, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"What the hell have you done to my room? Its so depressing." Hayley was sitting on the window sill smoking, with the window open.

She turned and stared at her cousin.

"Bad time I take it." She stood. Crushing the cigarette with her heel and tossing it outside. "But it does explain why its so depressing." She cut a glance at Anastasia and walked around her leaving.

Anastasia wanted nothing more than to just scream. Instead she kicked off her heels and took off her dress. Changing into a big hoodie and slipping into her bed. She didnt like this feeling... Normally it was from Kenny abusing her. But, even then the physical wound would heal. But, not this. This would take an hour in weeks that make up months with Dr. Hudson to discus her abandonment . I dont like this. Kenny...

"Everyone's outside waiting for you." Kenny's voice was the last thing she wanted to hear.

She didnt want to reply so she was silent and attempted to sleep. "You almost fucked up."

"What are you talking about?" She looked up. He looked down at her and smiled.

"You wouldve taken those bottles and trashed yourself. Wouldn't you?"

She just gazed at him and turned away.

"Turn into your old self again."

"I wouldnt." She was sitting up at that point.

"Sure. But youd need money for the drugs. Or would you just blow for them?"

"Im not like that." She spoke back.

"Because Id hurt you." He held her chin and winked.

She stared at him and blinked a few times.

"What?" He stopped smiling and searched her face.

"Abuse me. Hit me. Something."

He was caught off guard.

"I dont want to feel like this."

He looked away.

Anastasia took Kennys hand. "Please..."

"Ana."

"You can bruise me. I dont care." She leaned on her knees and looked down at him.

Kenny, who normally didnt flinch at bruising her... couldnt now.

"My legs? No?"

He shook his head. "Anastasia."

"My stomach." Her voice rang as if she knew that would tempt him. She took off the hoodie, revealing her in just her underwear and bra.

"Stop."

She took his hands again and guided them to her waist. She was crying. "Do something please... I d-dont want to feel like this." She wept and he just stared.

She let go of his hands and hugged her pillow.

Kenny just watched. He wasnt used to this from Anastasia. To see her this way... she'd rather him abuse her to make her forget her parents. "Why now?" Was the only thing he could get out.

Anastasia didnt answer but, fell asleep.

Kenny pulled a blanket around her and kissed Ana's hair.

Leaving her.