Insane

Chapter 8

It would be pretty simple for me to just stay home from school everyday, but that's just cheating. Besides, I don't think my parents and teachers would appreciate that.

My calculus teacher looked at me, her mouth forming a straight line as I entered her classroom about seven minutes late.

I tried for a smile, but it felt forced and pained and I took my seat. "Sorry. Running a little this morning," I grumbled.

"I'd like to see you after class," she replied flatly and my classmates broke out into a chorus of 'oooo's.

I blushed and looked down at my inner elbow, trying to avoid looking at my classmates.

"Mr. Greene," my teacher began after everyone else had filed out of the room. "Has everything been okay?"

I looked down at my hands, still feeling her hard stare in the top of my head. "As okay as things can be..."

"I know you aren't what you used to be, but you need to get over it, Ashwin. I'm trying to teach you important things so you can continue to grow in college. So that you can go to college. When you step in that door, you sign a contract. I get your time and attention in trade with my time and my attention. Understand?"

I nodded solemnly and itched my upper forearm to distract myself from her intensity. 

"I'm sorry. I know you've been going through some rough patches, but this is my job. And your job is to be a student. I can't waste that," she said, her tone softening, not much, but it was most definitely softened.

I nodded again and stood. "Is that all?" I asked stupidly and she nodded. I turned on my heel and quickly left the room, my head spinning.

_•__•_•__•_•_•_

"Tell me your story, Ashwin," Daniel said as he popped a grape into his mouth. We were sitting in the park again, enjoying another one of my mother's picnics.

I choked on my juice. "What?"

"Tell my your story. I'm curious." Daniel is leaned forward now, looking at my expectantly.

I laughed and leaned back. "You're a funny guy, Danny Boy, if you think I'm going to just tell my sob story."

Daniel rolled his eyes and popped another grape in his mouth. "I will get it out of you eventually."

"Besides. You probably know more about me than I do. My past is foggy and I prefer it that way."

Daniel's expression melted into one of concern and I sighed. "Stop feeling sorry for me," I whined and pushed at his shoulders.

Daniel snorted. "How can I not? You're all depressed and stuff," he pointed out and grabbed another grape.

"I'm not depressed and stuff. I'm simply living in reality," I said and raised my eyebrows at him in a challenging manner. "And so should everyone else."

"So everyone else needs to live like you, Ashwin Greene? What about being unique? What about imagination? Have you none?"

I laughed a quick laugh and shook my head. "I have lost my imagination many years ago. I had to grow up early."

"And why's that?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "You're not gonna get much out of me. But I will tell you a bit," I began. "When I was young. I had such a wild imagination. Shopping carts were horses and I was a cowboy. My couch was a dragon I had to tame. The world was an open book to me. Everyday was a new chapter. A new story. New characters. New adventures. Gideon and I... well. We were the main characters, taking on the stories one page at a time. And when he died...the book was lost. The adventure was gone and reality was introduced."

Daniel is watching me carefully, his thick eyebrows pulled together in the middle and his large glasses slipped down the slope of his nose. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Miss the adventure. The story. The fun."

I laughed without humor. "So what if I did? It's gone and there's no getting it back."

Daniel sighed and flopped down on the blanket beside me. "You are all depressed and stuff."

I looked over at him before looking up at the sky. A sigh escaped my lips and I shrugged. "Can't help it."

We were silent for a while, and I briefly wondered if Daniel fell asleep. "If I were to die in the next few moments, what would you say to me?"

I could hear Daniel sigh. "Quit being depressed and stuff," he said.

"I'm just curious to what you would say," I said defensively.

"No. That's what I would say," Daniel chuckled and propped himself up on his elbow and he looked down at me. "I'd probably say it while crying, though."

I smiled and licked my lips, a bit nervous to see how close Daniel was to my face. "You'd be crying? But you barely know me."

"I know you enough," Daniel said and his eyebrows relaxed a bit, but his glasses just slipped down further, nearly falling off his face.

His face was right above mine now and my stomach lurched. His eyes were locked on mine and it seemed as though he was getting closer and closer to me. Until he quickly blinked and backed away. Part of me was relieved, the other part of me felt sad... I told that side to shut up.

"We're worried about you, you know," Daniel stated as he laid back down beside me.

"Who?"

"Lily and I."

"Why?"

Daniel sighed heavily. "Because, Ash. You do shit like ask really depressing questions and go home sick."

I swallowed and shrugged, hoping that he'd feel it or at least get the idea. "I'm fine."

"Would you tell me if you weren't?"

"Probably not," I admitted and I could hear Daniel sigh once more.

"Just...just stay safe, okay?"

"Yea yea..."